Adventures in Creative Faith

"Re-Envisioning The Gospel" Sermon

2011-10-16T22:34:00.001-04:00

Video of "Re-Envisioning The Gospel" sermon based on Exodus 13: 17-22, Psalm 8, and Luke 4:14-30 for EF/TH4100.

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Sermon for Oct. 9, 2011

2011-10-09T14:04:00.001-04:00

Main Scripture: Exodus 32:1-14

It can be easy for people to forget how weird Bible stories are. And these are two stories are weird. The first sounds like fraternity pledge week gone religious, and the second is oddly violent. Both of these stories deal with how people act after they’ve been labeled “chosen”… a bit shocking to those of us in the Reformed tradition where the word “chosen” gets thrown around a lot. Maybe we’d like to think that being chosen by God gives someone a free pass. Maybe we’d prefer to think of ourselves in the second round of guests in the parable or as a new Moses standing high above the noise and seeing everything clearly. And if being chosen means acting like this, I don’t think I want to be chosen.

So let’s focus in on the Golden Calf incident. I’m not sure I can blame the Israelites for wanting to party. But don’t call in Kevin Bacon, we’re not going to outlaw dancing. Because it’s not the party that’s the problem; but the calf made of gold that according to Aaron represents the God who brought them out of Egypt. Instead of waiting for Moses and the real God who led them out of Egypt the Israelites turn quickly to a false-god, a thing that they worship as a god but that is light-years away from the God who led them out of slavery. They might have known God’s name, but their lives claimed they didn’t know God at all. (PAUSE)

It’s hard for me to get past the anger God expresses at the Israelites. But God has every right to be angry. Right? The Israelites saw the power of God in the plagues sent to Egypt. They have seen God as a pillar of fire. They heard God’s voice delivering the 10 Commandments and were so terrified they begged Moses to talk to God for them. They’ve been told directly that graven images are a really bad idea! They have been filled in on all sorts of things as Moses and Joshua and Aaron have traveled back and forth, up and down the mountain. Check the entire story out in Exodus. It’s well worth a read.

So it’s not like the Israelites didn’t know it’s a bad idea to worship the Golden Calf. It’s a little bit tricky to figure out if they’re worshiping the Calf as a separate god or as a physical representation of the LORD. Aaron uses the direct name of God when he says after building the golden calf “Tomorrow will be a festival for the LORD.” That “LORD” is the stand-in for the name of God that we learned earlier in the Exodus story as Yahweh, but because they don’t want to say God’s name directly the writers used shorthand. That shorthand was translated into the English as “LORD” in all capitals. So my best guess is that this Calf wasn’t supposed to be a different god but was supposed to be the real God. So the idolatry is not worshiping another so-called god but in forming the one true God into a shape they could build and touch and manipulate. They were trying to build God as their image of what God “should” be.

It was very normal at this time in history to shape gods as animals and humans. The Egyptians had a very popular deity named Apis who was a bull known as the “renewer of life.” The bull is a religious symbol the Israelites understood. The calf or bull is not confusing. There’s no waiting when you’ve got a statue you can easily sacrifice or pray to. You can do what you need to do, you know, god-wise, and then get on with your life. Isn’t it easier to point to a tangible item and have faith in it than to act like your chosen-ness is actually transforming you? The Israelites already waited 400 years to be liberated from slavery. They spent so long crying and praying in Egypt before God chose Moses and liberated them…They want to go to the Promised Land. Their biggest mistake isn’t building the Golden Calf. Their biggest mistake is who they thought the Golden Calf represented. They’re not worshiping the God who brought them out of Egypt. They’re worshiping a god literally crafted in their image of what God “should be”! It was not for the Israelites to choose a god for themselves. It is God who does the choosing. They knew God’s name, but their actions claimed they didn’t know God at all. How could anyone who experienced what the Israelites experienced think that the Lord God could be conceptualized as a bull? How could the Israelites physically craft a representation like this?

Last week I attended a chapel service at the seminary that was led by my classmate Jacob who is fluent in American Sign Language, his deaf brother Noah, and several others who knew sign language. The Scripture was the story of God’s working through Moses to liberate the Israelites. As Jacob told the story of how the Israelites were freed from slavery, his brother Noah signed the story. The congregation joined in as the Israelites with a refrain. But instead of singing together, we signed it together. We signed to “praise the Lord.” I was captivated by the story in a new way because of how Noah told the story. Noah fully embodied the story of the Exodus—each character and each event. His face got flushed. His excitement drew us in. But what astounded me most was that each and every movement had a specific meaning. Even if Jacob had not been vocally narrating the story, I would have understood quite a lot just by watching Noah. For the rest of the day I realized how much I talk with my hands. Not sign language but body language. How when someone shared good news I smiled and hugged them. How I waved “hello” to people. How when a person I don’t feel comfortable with sat at my table at lunch and I clasped my hands together and sat back in my chair. Each movement had a specific meaning. And I wonder what a neutral party would think about my religion or spirituality if they had just watched what I did. I might have learned how to sign “Lord” and “God,” but were my actions saying I knew God at all?

It’s easy to get caught up in saying one thing and doing another, especially in a culture where people often say they know God or what God wants but their actions leave room for questions. I like being able to touch things. Personally, I like being able to control things from the TV remote to my car to running a meeting. But as C.S. Lewis said, “God is not a tame lion.” We don’t control God. It’s not easy to admit to ourselves that we’ve somewhat crafted God into an image or idea that we want God to be. It’s not easy to admit that some actions may not match our words and faith. The Israelites learned the hard way. And as we read in the Old Testament they kept learning over and over again. We learn the hard way and keep learning over and over. There were repercussions for the Israelite’s actions, just as there are for our actions. We have to live with the bad decisions we make. But the beautiful thing about this story is that it is not just a cautionary tale of what not to do. God does get angry and plans some huge disaster to bring upon the people, and after being reminded about how choosing the Israelites was indeed God’s choice God overturned the first decision. That day and every day mercy outweighed anger. Thanks be to God.

Hymns: "God You Spin the Whirling Planets" (Presbyterian Hymnal 285); "Called as Partners in Christ's Service" (PH 343); "Today We are All Called to Be" (PH 434)

Post-Hurricane

2011-08-30T15:40:00.001-04:00

I live in Jersey and have for two full years. This past weekend was the first hurricane watch I have been through. I was stuck inside for three days more or less, although yesterday I walked to the grocery store. Then today I got up, put on jeans for the first time in months, and went to class. I got cold and put on my hoodie. Sometime, somehow it's that time between summer and fall when you can be freezing one minute and baking the next. The fall semester books are in at the bookstore, and in two and a half weeks school starts. My summer reading list is... no smaller. Thanks, Hebrew class.
Yeah, I got all reflect-y when I was stuck inside.

Expectations

2011-08-03T10:22:00.001-04:00

I recently heard a friend telling a story about a friend if theirs who decided he didn't want to take other people's word about what was in the Bible. Though not a traditionally faithful person he read through the entire Bible then told my friend, "It's nothing like I expected! There's so much sex and stuff!"
My expectations often ruin experiences for me. I get upset when something isn't like I expected instead of enjoying what's happening as what it is. In the fourth week of summer language many people are saying that seminary and summer language is nothing like they expected. Some are relieved, some are upset, and some are confused. I'm enjoying Hebrew a lot more than Greek because my expectations have been adjusted and because I have a group of friends already. We can't let our expectations hold us back from experiencing, and we can't let other's expectations weigh us down. Following Christ is a marathon, not a sprint. You don't always know what's around the next corner or when the next water station is coming up. We can worry and stress over how we expected the race to go or we can meet the new challenges as they arise. There's always time to put off worrying.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer in his book The Cost of Discipleship spends a lot of time talking about "costly grace." God's grace is a very complicated thing, but we as humans respond through faith and action. Cheap grace is grace without obedience to God; costly grace is the kind of grace that transforms our lives, our actions, and our words. Obedience has a negative connotation, but it's an act of free will. Transformation is a process. It takes time. Obedience to many at seminary is the act of going to seminary to empower them for lifelong ministry. We expect certain things. We're the "good ones." We're the older brother diligently working the fields who gets angry when our Parent shows great love and grace to that prodigal sibling. Going to seminary is one long lesson in humility. We have the honor to work closely with our Parent. The work is hard. We expect something for our hard work.
Don't we?
We expect the good grades, the financially stable job, the relationship that doesn't need work. Well, maybe some of us expect those things.
God has made some big promises. Do our expectations match those promises? Did God promise I would receive good grades when I decided to live a life of discipleship? No. Is the path always straight? No. Are we blessed by a community who supports and uplifts us? Yes.
Expect God. It's a lot less stressful that way.

Hebrew Part 3

2011-07-19T16:34:00.001-04:00

Second week of Hebrew, and now the grammar rules are really getting complex. We even get to learn about verbs on Friday! That'll be... difficult. For now we're figuring out roots and the fancy dictionary.

Hebrew Part 2

2011-07-16T13:36:00.001-04:00

I have survived the first week of summer Hebrew. They say if you do that, you'll be fine the rest of the summer. At least, that's what I hope they say. Today I'm only going over vocab. Will spend the time tomorrow doing the homework and learning the new grammar rules from yesterday's lecture. Now, I need a nap...

Also, Harry Potter 7B is awesome.

Adventures in Hebrew Part 1

2011-07-11T21:05:00.001-04:00

As a Presbyterian on the path to ordination I am required to pass both Koine Greek and Biblical Hebrew. Two summers ago I took Greek, and this summer I am taking Hebrew. Now I took Hebrew in my senior year of college, but it's a different level at seminary. Everything's a different level at seminary...
You may be thinking "why are the biblical languages such a big deal?" I'm glad you asked. And, yes, the answer does go back to John Calvin. Calvin and many others of his time were Humanists, and one of the Humanists' main emphases was learning original languages to better understand a text. This idea has trickled down through Reformed history to make itself known in current Presbyterian systems by having all potential pastors learn the original languages well enough to inform our preaching. Before ordination I will have to pass an exam where I translate, exegete, and write a sermon on an assigned passage. Don't worry, we get almost a week to do it. But that's later on. For now, I need to go quiz myself on vocabulary.

Earth and All Stars

2011-07-08T19:51:00.000-04:00

Image Credit: NASA/Bill Ingalls; from the NASA website

Earth and all stars, loud rushing planets,

Sing to the Lord a new song.

Hail, wind and rain, loud blowing snowstorms

Sing to the Lord a new song.

God has done marvelous things!

We will sing praises with a new song!

(Herbert Frederick Brokering, 1964; Presbyterian Hymnal #458)

I have great respect for NASA and the USAF space program and all space programs. Most of my favorite TV shows and movies are science fiction, and I have great memories of watching Star Trek: The Next Generation with my dad. More than anything, NASA's programs have opened our imaginations to push beyond what we thought were human limits. In high school I was convinced by the time I was middle aged the human race would have colonized at least the moon if not further. Today was the last launch in NASA's shuttle program. I understand the economy is difficult and the US budget is difficult, but I can't imagine a US without an active NASA shuttle program. Not only does NASA employ a lot of people, a lot of people want to work for NASA. People want to grow up to become astronauts, engineers, software writers to work in the space program. If NASA ever decides to hire chaplains, I'm applying ASAP. (How awesome would that be?) The International Space Station has been a symbol of what connects us as human beings. We need NASA. We need events, for both the national and international, that bring people together for a common goal that ignites our imagination. We need the shuttle program.

Fire of the Spirit

2011-07-05T17:52:00.002-04:00

Fire of the Spirit, life of the lives of creatures,
Spiral of sanctity, bond of all natures,
Goal of charity, lights of clarity,
Taste of sweetness to sinners, be with us and hear us.

Composer of all things, light of all the risen,
Key of salvation, release from the dark prison,
Hope of all unions, scope of chastities,
Joy in the glory, strong honor, be with us and hear us.

--Hildegard of Bingen, 12th century Benedictine abbess

(Chalice Hymnal, 52)

Lessons from Gordon Ramsay

2011-07-03T14:24:00.001-04:00

Chef Gordon Ramsay

Most of my friends know how much I love watching shows about food. Last week a friend told me about a show called Kitchen Nightmares where chef Gordon Ramsay goes into failing restaurants and tries to save the business. So I went to Netflix and found the UK version of the show (which is documentary-like and has a lot less screaming than the US version). Many restaurants have the same problems:

Things are too complicated and take too long

There is little or no organization

There is little or no healthy communication

People are too stubborn to change even though the doors are ready to close forever

The owners and/or chefs won't listen to the expert who has been brought in to help them

This sounds incredibly familiar, doesn't it? I hear the same kind of complaints about churches all around the country. The parallel is actually a huge part of the Christian faith. (Communion, anyone?) So it's not surprising that restaurants sometimes have the same problems as churches. Food feeds the body, and spirituality feeds the soul. So what lessons can church leaders learn from Mr. Ramsay and the struggling restaurants he tries to help?

Use what's local. Good restaurants use fresh, local ingredients. Churches can use resources including congregants, buildings, denominational resources, and local non-profits. Not every church can be a part of every ministry; so it's crucial to connect with others across denominational, religious, and political differences.

Churches are not businesses, but organization is just as key to a church's health as to a businesses'. Roles need to be defined for paid and volunteer staff with everyone knowing who their supervisor is. Training and education is thought out and, when necessary, people are sent out or brought in.

Communication needs to be clear and active. Everyone (hopefully) is in the loop of what everyone else is doing. Goals short-term and long-term are clear. The building and grounds committee chair has been talking to the finance committee chair and is aware of where the budget is going and preparing accordingly.

Congregants and staff are honest when things aren't working and are open to change. It's not about blame or disrespecting the past. It's about effectiveness of ministry.

Listen. Listen to the Spirit. Listen to the people who are trained. Listen to people who are there every week. Listen to the people on the edges. Listen to people of different ages. Listen to people who have stopped coming. Listen to outsiders. And, listen to the Spirit. With listening we can start building a vision of what we can be.

I've been working on personal organization in the past week, and it hasn't been easy. So I know it's not easy for a church. The biggest problem, I think, is how difficult all of this is. Each idea by itself (using local resources, organization, communication, openness, and listening) is difficult, but when attempted together is downright daunting. Plus, it's easy for a person sitting alone in her apartment thinking lofty ideas about how to build an effective church while watching a reality show from the UK. But if I don't think these lofty ideas on my off time, I may not think about them when I'm part of a particular church.

There is one thing Chef Ramsay wants to pump into people: passion. When people who don't seem to care about the restaurant find passion for their job the restaurant is far more likely to succeed. Passion. If that doesn't have spiritual overtones, nothing else in the show does. Without passion, businesses fail. Without the Passion, churches fail.
And that's all I have to say about that.

Second-hand Faith

2011-06-30T10:25:00.002-04:00

A few days ago my friend David and I went to a local thrift store to look for lightweight business casual clothes for David's summer job. I found this beautiful wooden frame with a photograph of an Orthodox church interior. I guess someone was redecorating. It's a funny thing to buy something I feel is really personal, but I'm happy to have a visual reminder of my time in Greece. I spent quite of bit of time looking at artwork in churches. We modern Christians possess a second-hand faith. While our faith is our own, we wouldn't have our faith traditions without the Cloud of Witnesses who came before us. I am aware of how incredibly influenced I have been by the Presbyterian and Reformed traditions without even knowing it! The larger Christian tradition influences us every day. One of my favorite things about my denomination is the ecumenical focus. Even knowing that differences exist in theology and history and liturgical practices, we also know that we are one Body. Or, as Henry Nouwen said, "We need each other more than we need to agree."

Ordination

2011-06-26T20:58:00.000-04:00

Me and Rev. Brenna!

I hear about ordination a lot. We discuss theologies of ordination and how things are going with our different care committees. We compare different denominations ordination requirements and worry about paperwork. Today I had the great blessing to attend a good friend's ordination worship service. Not only is my my friend Brenna a fantastic liturgy crafter, she has a wonderful aura around her that shines God's love. (She's also really, really tall.) Brenna is my first friend to be ordained, and I'm looking forward to many more. To see the Spirit moving in a friend's life, to see her complete requirements, graduate, get a call to a church job, and get ordained gives me so much joy I can't even explain it. Sometimes seminarians who are on the ordination track get really focused on the details and we may forget occasionally that ordination is not an ending. It's a calling to a type of ministry and the recognition by the community of that calling. More than anything, ordination is a blessing. The PC (USA) is blessed to have Brenna as a minister, and every community she's a part of for the rest of her life will be blessed. Tomorrow Brenna is getting into her car and beginning the relocation process.
I have taken some time off recently to give my brain a break and rest. This service has refocused me. I have a call to ministry. One day I hope my friend Rev. Brenna will be my colleague.

Musing

2011-06-21T19:26:00.001-04:00

There are many things to be learned when school is out for the summer. I will figure out what those are later...

We are Presbyterians

2011-06-21T12:22:00.001-04:00

Woman Priests

2011-06-12T20:23:00.002-04:00

Courtesy of Gene Renner, on NPR's website.

"When you have an unjust law, sometimes it needs to be broken before it can be changed." Rev. Patti LaRosa, Catholic Womanpriest

Today NPR's All Things Considered reported on the latest ordination of Catholic Womanpriests. I have so much respect for the Catholic Womanpriest movement, and I am very glad the movement is getting some press. Back in 2002 a few women were secretly ordained in Germany by a Roman Catholic bishop, and the NPR article is reporting on the most recent ordination of Catholic Womanpriests (which happened in Maryland). Several books have been written by Womenpriests including Eucharistic Prayers for Inclusive Communities by Bridget Mary Meehan and Sheila Durkin Dierks. What saddens me most in this article is that the Womanpriests have lost relationships because people are afraid to openly support the women's ordination movement within the Roman Catholic Church. While I recognize the difficulties of the movement within Catholic doctrine, things will not change unless people are willing to work for the change. I do not know any Womenpriests personally, but as a Christian woman on the path to ordination I support them and hope one day to work with Womenpriest colleagues in my future ministries.

For more information, check out their website www.romancatholicwomenpriests.org
or buy the book Women Find A Way: The Movement and Stories of Roman Catholic Womenpriests

We are Presbyterians

2011-06-08T15:35:00.000-04:00

So the awesome Bruce Reyes-Chow has broadcasted on his website that the We are Presbyterians project is calling for videos. 8 minute videos addressing a few questions, and they want as many as possible. I'll be making a video, and I encourage everyone else who's a Presbyterian to consider making one as well.

Vacation

2011-05-30T12:57:00.000-04:00

I am on vacation for the next three weeks, so my posting will be irregular during this time. I'm up in Minneapolis-St. Paul at my parents' new house. Not planning on doing much up here but am planning on sleeping in and watching bad TV.

The dogs are super happy to see me, but they're playing it cool.

Courage, Part 2

2011-05-23T19:48:00.001-04:00

I have been challenged by a friend to think about courage in a different way. While this friend didn't give me a lot of direction, I thought about the different aspects of courage. I thought about the people I talked about in my last post on courage. I did my undergrad in history, and so a lot of times I focus on actions that make change because that's often what makes the history books. But when we're talking about everyday actions that can help or facilitate change there was one that stuck out to me.

Listening.

It's not a surprise that I'm drawn to listening as courage. I practice Non-Violent Communication which focuses on active listening skills. But I want to tell you about an event that happened this last semester which I think shows how listening is courageous.

One class I took this semester was team taught by an African-American female and a Caucasian-American male. During one Q and A session a student asked about how the male professor learns about other ways of interpreting the Bible. The professor said "I listen." He went on to talk about how he was aware of the cultural and societal advantages he has just based on his outward appearance. He said that he can't change many the -isms of our society (racism, sexism, hetero-sexism especially) overnight and he works towards the equality God made us with through listening. He said he gets to talk a lot, and that it is his responsibility to stop talking and actually listen to others. I was struck by his honesty and self-awareness. He made me think about the patterns in our society and how I contribute whether consciously or unconsciously.

It takes courage to listen when one is privileged to talk, and it takes courage to talk when one is demeaned into silence or expected to be silent. If everyone is speaking, no one will be heard. If everyone is listening, nothing will be heard. It seems like people are often pushed into action when no one is listening to their voice. Think about it. Why did the colonies revolt against England? Taxation with representation, among other things, which translates to the government (those in power) wasn't listening to the people (those expected to be silent). But not all the silenced voices were heard in the 13 colonies, either. There are millions of voices who came from Africa and crossed in the Middle Passage that will never be heard. There are millions of voices of indigenous peoples that will never be heard. So even though the colonies rebelled and gained their freedom many in power continued to talk without listening. But when a balance is struck between listening and talking, I believe amazing things can happen without violence.

This doesn't resolve my complicated thinking about courage. Expect part 3.

Psalm 22

2011-05-22T19:47:00.000-04:00

I am poured out like water,
   and all my bones are out of joint;
my heart is like wax;
   it is melted within my breast;
my mouth is dried up like a potsherd,
   and my tongue sticks to my jaws;
   you lay me in the dust of death.
--Psalm 22:14-15

When people talk about Psalm 22 they don't normally get this far. We like to stop with the first verse ("My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?) because we meditate on that verse during Lent and Good Friday. So it may sound odd that I'm bringing out this Psalm during Eastertide. I think the writer of Psalm 22 went to seminary, or the ancient equivalent. If the writer did not experience higher education, then s/he experienced the same emotions from another experience. The two verses above are what many of my classmates are feeling right now. The 'dust of death' may be a bit over dramatic, but what's seminary without a little drama? After the school year spent reading, writing essays, taking exams, and discussion some of us may be glad for a time when our tongue to stick to our jaw. We've spent the year pouring out ourselves into our studies and internships while balancing other commitments. In some ways, we're very dry. I see the exhaustion in my classmates' face. Many are moving to a new place on campus, many are beginning summer jobs in the next couple of weeks, many are relocating for a post-seminary job, and a few have decided to leave seminary early for various reasons.

I don't really have a point today. I just wanted to acknowledge what my friends and classmates are going through. I'm sure our professors have some similar feelings. This is the time to ask again for the gift of living water that we may never be thirsty again.

A Task to be Pursued with Courage

2011-05-18T14:22:00.000-04:00

Recently I was called a "Brief Statement of Faith person" by a friend as we were discussing the spiritual needs of older adults. I have to agree. For those not familiar, A Brief Statement of Faith is the youngest document in the PC(USA)'s Book of Confessions. It was written when two denominations merged to create the PC(USA) and became part of the Book of Confessions in 1991. While I do love the Brief Statement of Faith, I have been reflecting on the following quote from Confession of 1967 lately:

"Life is a gift to be received with gratitude and a task to be pursued with courage." (Confession of 1967, 9.17)

For some reason this sentence has stuck with me for a couple months, ever since we studied the Confession of 1967 in my Presbyterian History course. I was really struck by the multiple ideas held together. Life. Gift. Receive. Gratitude. Task. Pursue. Courage. I especially like that the authors did not define these words for us. Words do change in meaning over time and depending on your point of view. Today I'd like to focus on courage. That's a tricky word to define in general, but what is courage to a Christian living in 2011 America? We can point to people we think are courageous. Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Harriet Tubman. Mary. Bishop Gene Robinson. I have many friends at seminary who are graduating this Saturday. One is taking a call in the mid-west and will be ordained in June. One has a job at their denominational main office. One couple has been called to the same church. But several do not have that security. I think all of them are courageous.

Is pursuing a task with courage the same as being courageous? Being courageous suggests a state of being. Some people seem naturally courageous--globe trotters and dare devils. But anyone can pursue a task with courage. You don't have to be a courageous person to pursue a task with courage. People in abusive relationships may not be thought of as courageous people, but it certainly shows a lot of courage to leave an abusive relationship. It takes a lot of courage to dream of a better world for ourselves and future generations. It takes a lot of courage to dream of a life outside of an abusive relationship or a world where members of the LGBTQ community are considered for ordination on their call and preparation for ministry and not on their sexuality. It takes courage to pursue those dreams. It takes organization, support, and prophetic vision to see what needs to be changed in order to pursue the task. It is no easy feat. So much in our culture tells us to be content with the status quo... but there is a lot of injustice in the status quo.

It's easy to look back in history and say "Well, of course someone needed to change that." Of course slavery needed to be ended. Of course the Nazis had to be stopped. But how many of us are willing to stand up today, name injustice in our world, and pursue the task of change with courage? Courage does not mean there will not be fear or trepidation. Even Jesus asked for the cup to be passed from him. But then Jesus pursued his task with courage. Now that's me reading this confession's language back into the passion story, but the Bible is the basis of the confessions.

Taking time to reflect on these things leads me to more questions...

What are the injustices in our world that need to changed?
Are we participating in communities working towards that change?
What gifts/talents/passions do we have that can contribute to that change?
Are we being the change we want to see? (Mahatma Gandhi)

Well, are we?

End of the School Year

2011-05-17T21:22:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is the last day of classes for the 2010-2011 school year. As I was checking my grades from the long term (and praise be to God!) I was stuck at the range of classes I've taken this year. My first year I was taking a lot of intro courses. This year I've taken classes on preaching, feminist theology, Christian worship (both general and specifically Presbyterian), Jewish biblical interpretation, learning and practicing liturgical movements (like breaking bread and how to hold an infant while trying to pour water), and finding musical resources for congregational use, and others. What I like about the Masters of Divinity program is the wide variety of experiences. My education is not limited to, well, anything. Our internships offer us the chance to learn what we need to learn. We can take generalized or specific courses. For instance, we have to take a modern (Post-Reformation) history course. I took Presbyterian History. Both fascinating and useful.

But I have to admit, I'm looking forward to the summer break. Some time to sleep in, read, watch bad TV, travel, and then come back and start my summer job and Hebrew class. I'm going to be working at the campus book store this summer!! I have held many part-time jobs, but I have to admit working at a book store sounds awesome. But for now, one more final presentation tomorrow morning.

Lost Post

2011-05-15T22:27:00.000-04:00

I have been working on a blog post for three days. It brought a the Bible into conversation with two modern books to talk about God's love. Today I was typing in the saved draft, and then it disappeared. It's disheartening. As much as I like the internet and blogging it's stuff like this that keeps me handwriting my class notes and whatnot. I will try re-writing the post later this week.

A Message about Amendment 10-A to the Constitution of the PC(USA)

2011-05-11T07:46:00.003-04:00

10A

2011-05-10T20:45:00.000-04:00

Amendment 10A has been a big deal to Presbyterians for a long time. If you're not familiar with Presbyterian church government we have two parts of our constitution: The Book of Confessions containing documents ranging from ancient to modern, and The Book of Order which outlines the specifics of our church government. Last summer our General Assembly gave the go-ahead for Amendment 10A to be passed to the presbyteries (local groups of churches) for the final vote. Tonight an 87th presbytery voted and passed Amendment 10A which means the PCUSA has passed 10A. I am grateful for the wholistic look at ordination candidates without focusing on one aspect of the person. The Office of the General Assembly has released a statement. The PCUSA has invited us to join in the prayer below. While I know there are a number of views on this amendment, I think we can all agree to pray together.

Almighty God, we give thanks for a rich heritage of faithful witnesses to the gospel throughout the ages. We offer gratitude not only for those who have gone before us, but for General Assembly commissioners and presbyters across the church who have sought diligently to discern the mind of Christ for the church in every time and place, and especially in this present time.

May your Spirit of peace be present with us in difficult decisions, especially where relationships are strained and the future is unclear. Open our ears and our hearts to listen to and hear those with whom we differ. Most of all, we give thanks for Jesus Christ, our risen Savior and Lord, who called the Church into being and who continues to call us to follow his example of loving our neighbor and working for the reconciliation of the world. We pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Rooted Spirituality: Emerging Adults in the Church

2011-05-10T19:48:00.000-04:00

As part of my spiritual guidance course we are interviewing people from three different age groups: emerging adult/young adult, middle adult, and older adult. Last week I interviewed a 20-year-old college sophomore about her life and spirituality. She called her spirituality "Grassroots Spirituality." Her understanding of God came from her experiences at a Christian summer camp and have grown in relation to the physical world around her as well as to her intellectual and emotional growth. This idea really struck me. Rooted spirituality. Those who have the luxury to be emerging adults (ages 18-24ish) are thought to be drifting without roots. They move frequently and explore their identity and career course. But all the reading we've been doing makes me think we've got it wrong, and this interview confirmed it. Stop thinking all young adults want in a spiritual community is a rock show. There's enough in our world that is shallow. We want a deep community with roots. True, some of us also want a rock show; but that's not the only thing. Our roots need to be nurtured as we continue growing toward the Sun. We can't do that alone.

So many members of churches have asked me "How do we get more people your age into the church?" Welcome us. Nurture us. Go out and find us. Realize that not everyone has transportation. Stop thinking that changing something in the liturgy means you're giving up your religious tradition. Read the Bible as a community and be willing to hear voices you don't agree with or voices you've ignored/didn't know about. Be authentic. Be open to listening to our questions without feeling you have to know the answer to everything. Put us in leadership roles. Mentor us. We're not asking you to be perfect. Don't expect us to be like you were at this age. Accept us for who we are and know we're going to transform if you nurture us. Without sun and water plants die. Offer us Living Water and the Light from God to nurture us and prevent spiritual death. Take the time to explain tradition. Offer introductory classes or even informal conversational groups to discuss what it means to call ourselves a Christian and what it means to call ourselves a certain denomination. Don't exclude the single. Don't exclude our LGBTTQI friends/family/partners/selves. Know we may not fit into traditional membership categories and be open to our involvement anyway. Empathize. Don't assume. Recognize us. Know no church is your church or my church; it is God's church. Sing a new song, sing old songs, just choose songs that have theological content. Celebrate worship with many languages. The sacraments are cool; we'd like to talk about them because they're also confusing to a lot of people. Help us find silence and stillness in a world that demands noise because we want to hear God. Don't preach at us. Preach the Word in the midst of us. Feed us. Point out God's actions in the world so we learn to pay attention to God. Enter dialogue with other religions and other traditions from Christianity. Find a way to support those of us who are single parents. Help us get involved in the local community mission/soup kitchen/garden/after school tutoring program/food drive/whatever. We want to make a difference. Show and tell us how Christ made a difference. Don't expect us to believe everything exactly the way you do or to sign up for something we don't want to do. Love us in spite of ourselves and yourselves. We like our agency and intellect and believe both come from God. Even if we are only in your community for a short time know that our roots have been entwined and the journey will never be the same. Be joyful in our transitions through break ups, new jobs, marriages, illness, grappling with grief, changing majors, graduation, and making difficult decisions even when they're hard for us. You are the love of Christ to us during the hard times. Engage us in the hard issues the church is dealing with. We worship God in wholistic ways in our everyday lives and would be thrilled to see Sunday morning come into the week. Guide us into taking ownership of our own faith even knowing at the same time it is the faith of our ancestors. Talk about the Cloud of Witnesses. We don't get many Christian role models in pop culture. We don't want our faith to be fueled by fear, so please don't try to make us do things you think we "should" do by threatening us with hellfire. That's not your decision to make. If we disagree politically or theologically remember we are each children of God and deserve to be treated with respect. Don't talk down to us just because we're young. Know there are some things we can only learn from experience but don't be condescending about it. Take us seriously and with flexibility. Plant some seeds of wisdom. Pray for peace and act on those prayers. Be thoughtful.

Preach the Good News of God's love.

Practice what you preach.

Live the Good News for the world today and into the future with us.

Nurture our roots.

Soul Friendships

2011-05-03T17:00:00.000-04:00

During this May term we are looking at soul friendships as part of our overview of spiritual guidance. Our main book for this has been Sacred Companions by David Benner. The second half of the book is about spiritual direction, but the first half is all about spiritual friendships also known as soul friendships. (His use of the term "soul" is not referring to the Hellenistic dualism between body and spirit but instead is using "soul" referring to our deepest and most whole selves which include the physical, mental, spiritual, etc.)

We have many friends, but how many of those are soul friends? How many friends do we have who we are fully present with and able to be vulnerable without fear of judgement? Soul friends accompany each other's journeys. In a world where "Friends" is a sitcom soul friendship sounds odd. It's an intriguing, ancient idea of friendship. Jonathon and David. Ruth and Naomi. Paul and Timothy. Ross and Chandler? The thing that sets soul friendships apart is the focus on God and the intentionality behind soul friendships. The soul friend pulls you toward God as you pull them toward God. Some people wander into soul friendships, but for the most part it appears to me that people need to discern soul friendships. It's difficult enough to be authentic in a world that values shallowness, but to allow someone else in your life to be authentically themselves is also difficult. Soul friendships also value deep listening also called holy listening. It's part of being fully present with someone. Not trying to think about what you're going to say next, not thinking about your to do list, listening intently to the other is prayerful listening. I've spent a lot of time talking to God, and I've spent most of my time in seminary learning to listen for God. It's an active listening, but it's still prayerful/holy/deep listening. Soul friendships help tune your ears to listen for God and your eyes to look for God in your everyday lives. God pops up in some weird places. Like our friendships, we need to cultivate our relationship with God through holy/prayerful/deep listening.

Who in your life always points you back towards God?

Soul friends. If you don't have one, discern one.

In a Time of International Crisis

2011-05-02T16:33:00.000-04:00

Prayer in a Time of International Crisis

Eternal God, our only hope,
our help in times of trouble:
show nations ways to work out differences.
Do not let threats multiply
or power be used without compassion.
May your will overrule human willfulness,
so that people may agree and settle claims peacefully.
Hold back those who are impulsive,
lest desire for vengeance overwhelm the world's common welfare.
Give us the courage to mourn with those who mourn
and the strength to turn our swords into plowshares.
Bless the people of every nation.
Bring peace to earth,
the peace preached and lived by Jesus of Nazareth,
who is called the Prince of Peace.
Send your Spirit,
that we may speak love in the language of every nation
once again.
Amen.

(Adapted from Book of Common Worship, Daily Prayer, p. 411)

Eastertide Reflection

2011-05-01T13:25:00.003-04:00

Resurrection starts
with the cry of grief,
an empty place,
a familiar voice.
It's tiny...
like the fingers of a newborn.
Seemingly insignificant...
like the grain that lands in the clam's open mouth.
'Often overlooked...
like the leaf bud on the tree.
Christ has risen.
Waiting for us to take notice.
Christ has risen.
Waiting for us to respond.
Christ has risen.
Christ has risen indeed!

--Katherine Hawker (Liturgy Outside)

Eastertide is a good time to reset. Our time of confession is over; the time of assured grace is now. We worship without prayers of confession; we shout "alleluia!" Lilies abound. Black has given way to white. Christ has risen!

Today my friend Sara preached about living as Easter people. She asked us to fill in this sentence:
"Life is _______."
Most everyone responded with a variation on "Life is more complicated and difficult than it appears." Even the classic "Life is like a box of chocolate" gets to the heart of life's intrinsic complicated-ness. "You never know what you're going to get." Resurrection gives us a chance to open our eyes to new possibilities, new ways of dealing with complications of life. Life looks different in Eastertide. Lent is, in some ways, a time to look at ourselves individually and communally. Easter re-focuses us on the ultimate expression of love streaming from God in waterfalls of mercy. Eastertide keeps this focus as we go back to our 'normal' lives.

But is life really "normal" after Easter?

Pressing the "Reset" Button

2011-04-29T13:56:00.000-04:00

I am taking a course this May term about spiritual guidance throughout a person's life. My professor (Dr. O) is very aware of the student population's mental overload from a year of other classes and is focusing the class in an experiential model of learning. Today Dr. O told us that he studied under Henri Nouwen who told him to spend 20 minutes a day in structured prayer and meditation. Anything more than that is difficult to sustain, but a simple daily routine will keep you walking with God through the ups and downs and sideways switches. Dr. O continued to say that as seminarians our lives are busy and often our personal spirituality gets dropped in the ensuing chaos. He encouraged us to press the "reset" button during this May term and re-center our lives on our relationship with God. So I'm doing that. Part of this reset is the realization that I have not kept up this blog. Blogging is a good way to keep accountability even if no one reads your blog, so I am hoping to update my blog at least once a week for the rest of the calendar year and then reassess.

By the way, if you haven't read any Henri Nouwen, he's a great writer. Go out and read any book by him.

PTS video

2011-04-03T19:57:00.001-04:00

Looking Forward

2011-03-22T10:24:00.000-04:00

A few days ago the 2011-2013 course catalog came out. It's a little strange to be reading through it and saying "Oh! I want to take that!" only to find out it's being taught during the 2012-2013 year. I can't take everything I want to take; and it's a hard balancing act between PTS requirements, presbytery requirements, personal requirements, and interest. For example, I need to take a class focused on a Reformed theologian. Next year the two being offered are about Friedrich Schleiermacher's theology and a class about Calvin's theology and modern reinterpretations. Both classes would be great, and both would help in my future.

Play rehearsals are going well. My main costume is really pretty, and I found earrings online that match perfectly and were super cheap. We perform April 7, 8, 9 at 8pm and April 10 at 2pm. Call the seminary's speech office for tickets (free!).

This Thursday we're starting our Lenten reflection series "Daring...". This series is being led by me but is an amalgamation of a lot of different resources with a splash of my creativity. We begin with "Entering" based on the Triumphal Entry into Jerusalem as set forward by Luke. Works well for a first session. Preaching next Monday on 1 Samuel 16: 1-13, Samuel anointing David. Works well because we're talking about callings in worship for Lent, and the Daring... series is focusing on Jesus' anointing next Thursday. Gotta love it when the Spirit pulls moving parts into harmony.

This summer I'm taking Hebrew, but I get time off for good behavior before that. Going to spend some time with the parents and attend a reunion of my college friends! Also going to take some time up in New York at the Holy Cross monastery, a Protestant Benedictine community.

Oh, and next year I'll be working at Christ Presbyterian Church. It's a very small church (15 members) focused on intentional community to make a difference in the members' lives and the community's life. They have a labyrinth as part of their church grounds. Awesome.

Summer Reading List

2011-03-22T09:58:00.000-04:00

This summer I will be learning Hebrew and having already spent a summer learning a biblical language, I am preparing a summer reading list of books I want to read but don't have the time during the academic year. Thus far this is the list:

Dogmatics in Outline--Barth
Letters and Papers from Prison--Bonhoeffer
Preaching the Gospels without Blaming the Jews--Allen
The Halachic Process--Roth
In Memory of Her--Fiorenza
Harry Potter 7 (again)
Birthing the Sermon--Childers

Lent 2011

2011-03-11T11:02:00.000-05:00

PTS is doing daily Lenten devotionals.

Lent is pretty late this year. Holy Week is our finals' week. That's going to be fun for the student, faculty, and staff who work in churches or have loved ones who do.

Lent is about intentionality in our spiritual lives. Let's start by asking the question "What in my life is keeping me from getting closer to God?"

Reasons to love living in an apartment

2011-02-19T11:35:00.000-05:00

My own kitchen
People walk their dogs, and they let me pet them
Your own bathroom
Walking distance from a Barnes and Noble, Staples, and Whole Foods
Bus conversations
Entertaining
Playing Guitar Hero as loud as I want
Meeting classmates whose names I didn't know before
Not having a day lag with mail
Brewing my coffee my way
Watching parents teach their kids how to ride bikes
Sitting on my porch
Thrift shopping
Spending free time flipping through cookbooks
Couch
Artwork above the couch
Going to bed at 9pm
Having room to iron
Living and going to school in two different places
Baking bread

Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T22:36:00.000-05:00

Today I had the opportunity to preach at Rider University's chapel this evening on "A Different Kind of Love" based on Ruth 1:1-18. It went well.

Rehearsals for the play are coming along. Still trying to get those lines down. "The ancient saying is no heresy. Hanging and wiving go by destiny."

I've been in my new apartment for over a week now, and my kitchen is pretty well furnished. Tomorrow I'll be making chicken chimichangas. Because I can. And because chicken was on sale last weekend.

That's about it for me.

Replying to the Open Letter to the PCUSA

2011-02-10T08:45:00.000-05:00

My seminary is on fire discussing the "Open Letter" document that came out on February 7th. A lot of us see things differently, particularly the young (under 30) Presbyterians who are on the ordination track. We are all committed to the unity of the PC(USA). We made the decision to come to seminary rather than pursue other (probably better paying) careers. To many of us the church is not dying. It's being renewed. The church in the coming century will not look like the church in the 20th Century or the 16th Century or the 2nd Century. The church is constantly hearing the Holy Spirit speaking in different ways. It is not the number of church members that makes a church alive. It is the presence of the Spirit.

I would like to point you to Rev. Margaret Aymer Oget's reply. She puts forth a much better reply about the other issues than I could at this time.

I respectfully decline the invitation to the gathering this August. I will be in Hebrew, preparing for Ordination Exams, and living into my call in the PC(USA).

Two Awesome Things

2011-02-05T20:24:00.000-05:00

Two awesome things have happened in the last couple of days. I moved into my first grown-up apartment, and I got cast in the part of Nerissa in The Merchant of Venice which the seminary is putting on this semester. A good friend of mine got cast as Gratiano, the dude Nerissa marries; and we're going to have a lot of fun. Merchant is a tragic comedy with lots of interesting religious and cultural questions you can discuss with your friends after you've seen it. Most of the scenes Nerissa is in are the comedy scenes, although looks like I'll be standing through a long court scene with nothing to do again this year. Hopefully next year the play will have no court scene. The apartment is fabulous and most everything's still in boxes. I don't have many storage things yet, and I'll be hitting thrift stores next weekend. Bookshelves I'm in desperate need of. The parents have mailed me a kitchen-in-a-box, and until then it's sandwiches, salads, oatmeal, and microwavable soups. Sounds great to me.

Spring Semester

2011-01-30T20:49:00.000-05:00

I realize I have lapsed a bit in my blog writing, and I apologize. The middler year has been very intense but awesome. Over the January term I took Presbyterian Worship where I learned to worship Presbyterian-ly and prepared for the Sacrament and Worship Ordination Exam.

Here are my classes for the spring semester:
Presbyterian History and Theology
Crossing the Deep River (exploring the Exodus event and the interpretation of the event particularly focusing on African-American experiences from the 19th Century to the modern day)
Jewish Biblical Interpretation (taught by a professor from Jewish Theological Seminary in NYC)

I am also trying out for the play, "The Merchant of Venice." It's a fascinating play with lots of interesting religious questions that arise from it.

I'm also still working at Rider University. This semester I will be leading a Lenten reflection group.

It's going to be a busy semester, but I'm very excited about it!

First Hymn

2010-12-20T13:40:00.000-05:00

Ok, I realize it may have been confusing that my last post was labeled "Another Hymn." I apologize. I thought I uploaded my first hymn earlier. For my Congregational Music course I had to versify a Psalm to a well-known hymn tune as part of my final. Here it is. My rendition of Psalm 13 "God, I Cry Out to You in Woe" to the tune HAMBURG which is the tune of the hymn "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross."

Another hymn

2010-12-20T13:34:00.000-05:00

As part of a theological reflection in my Feminist and Womanist Theologies class I decided to write a hymn. Well, actually, I didn't quite decide to; but inspiration struck, and now I have another hymn to share!

Tune: DIX (known most popularly in the Presbyterian Hymnal as "For the Beauty of the Earth")

Last Week of Classes

2010-12-06T23:29:00.000-05:00

This week is the last week of classes at PTS. What a semester! I have so much work to do before going home. Today I had a rehearsal for a faux wedding for my Word and Act class, run around like a maniac making sure everything was in place for worship in the evening, worked at the Speech Department, attended a two hour lecture on arts and worship, led the service and preached at Rider, worked on my final for my Congregational Music class, began making flash cards for my worship class final, and talked to my parents. I told them I was going to bed an hour ago. I was just going to return a couple of e-mails! It took an hour!

All this is say, this is the season of Advent. This is a season where we can get caught up in the hustle and bustle. I encourage all of you to take some time to allow the Spirit to move. Don't get caught up like me! I promise I'll try to be better. Every day is a new day in God's creation and a new chance to work for peace in our lives and in our world.

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God." Matthew 5:9

Alternative Christmas

2010-11-15T22:06:00.000-05:00

Hey, guys. I know it's mid-November, but it's a good time to start thinking about alternative Christmas gifts. Here's some ideas!

Child's Play
A charity dedicated to bringing toys, games, books, and movies to children's hospitals in the USA and worldwide. On their website you can click on a hospital local or far away, and you're taken to Amazon to view the hospital's wish list. Giving is as easy as purchasing something on Amazon!

Heifer International
Take a look at their catalog and select an animal or animals to send to needy families. They're not giving a hand out; they're giving a hand up. Animals supply these families with food and a livelihood. A flock of chicks or ducks cost only $20.

The Sharing Network
The Sharing Network of New Jersey supports patients, donors, and families during organ transplants. There are over 4500 people waiting for a lifesaving transplant in New Jersey. Please consider The Sharing Network and your local organ donation network.

Kiva
Micro-loans that help lift people in undeveloped countries out of poverty. It's the gift that keeps giving! Your money will come back to you so you can loan it again!

Teach for America
I have some friends doing Teach for America. It's hard work trying to eliminate educational inequality.

Mercer Street Friends Food Bank
A great local food bank that focuses on giving healthy food along with health services to the underprivileged in my local community. I've volunteered with them several times, and they have a large presence in some of our K-12 schools where they literally fill up children's backpacks with food.

Stand Up Against Bullying in Your Community

2010-11-13T11:05:00.000-05:00

Anti-Bullying PSA From NOH8 Campaign @ Yahoo! Video

Diana Butler Bass

2010-10-29T17:31:00.000-04:00

Yesterday and today I was the sexton for lectures by Diana Butler Bass. She was speaking on her latest book A People's History of Christianity as well as our Alumni Reunion Week theme "From Gutenberg to Google." The picture's not great, but it proves that it happened. She also signed my Practicing Congregation. Dr. Bass, or as she's known around campus "D.B.B.", has her PhD in church history from Duke and has done incredible work about the modern Mainline church. Her new book is the first history of the Christian church written for mass reading (not as a textbook) since 1965. She's an Episcopal layperson who is calling for the renewal of the Mainline denominations to ask good questions about how we live our Christian faith in this new digital age. She said that the reason the 95 Theses had such an impact was because Luther had the gall to ask the tough questions that were coming out of the culture that other church people weren't asking or thought weren't important. She lectured on how the digital age is changing how we think, and apparently I'm a "digital native." uch of computer, internet, etc. is "natural" to me while perhaps some of my readers might not know about the purpose of the hyperlinks on my blog or what they do.
I highly suggest reading her books and seeing her in person if you can. I'm currently reading A People's History, and I really like it. If this is what writing church history is, I may jump on that wagon.

Psalm 100 Sermon

2010-10-25T20:17:00.000-04:00

I promised my mom that I would post my sermon on Psalm 100 on the blog, but I have to be honest... I can't. During my sermon last Monday I realized I wasn't connecting with the students at all. So I stepped to the side of the lectern and began telling a story. Almost everyone sat up a bit, and connections were made. So while I can't exactly post the stories and sermon-ing I told, I can give you an idea of what I said.

Psalms are awesome, and God loves us.

There you go. :)

Adventures in Hiking

2010-10-17T12:57:00.000-04:00

Yesterday some friends and I set off for Tyler State Park in Pennsylvania for some hiking and looking at scenic trees. Afterward we ended up at this kooky, fabulous ice cream shop called Zebra-Striped Whale in nearby Newtown. Then it was back to PTS for some sermon writing!

God-Language

2010-10-14T11:06:00.000-04:00

This semester I am in a class entitled Feminist and Womanist Theologies taught by Drs. Pierce and Taylor. Yesterday we were talking about Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale, and Dr. Taylor played this song. It's incredibly moving and thought provoking. This song is to the tune of "Come Thou Font of Every Blessing" (known otherwise as Nettleton). You can listen to it online here. Below are the lyrics.

God, I Cannot Call You Father
© Linda Allen 1993
words: Linda Allen
melody: Nettleton, J. Wyeth 1813

God, I know you as a spirit
Blowing through me like a wind
You are the spirit of the water
You are the source, you are the end
God, I know you as a mother
Giving birth to all I am
But I cannot call you Father
And I know you understand

God, how many names we've called you
Great Jehovah, Great I Am
You are the lion, you're the shepherd
Mother Eagle, gentle lamb
And Jesus called you "Abba"
He knew Joseph's loving hand
But I cannot call you Father
And I know you understand

And now I hear the hymns around me
Heavenly Father, Lord of hosts
And the child is blessed with water
Father, Son and Holy Ghost
But how many father's daughters
Feel like strangers in this land
Silent tears to bear the sorrow
God, I know you understand

From the CD: Lay It Down: Images of the Sacred. October Rose Productions, 1996.

First Sermon for Preaching Class

2010-10-14T10:59:00.002-04:00

Sermon based off of Luke 1:39-55. Below is Luke 1:39-45.
39 In those days Mary set out and went with haste to a Judean town in the hill country, ⁴⁰where she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. ⁴¹When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the child leapt in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit ⁴²and exclaimed with a loud cry, ‘Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. ⁴³And why has this happened to me, that the mother of my Lord comes to me? ⁴⁴For as soon as I heard the sound of your greeting, the child in my womb leapt for joy. ⁴⁵And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfilment of what was spoken to her by the Lord.’

Today I’m going to be preaching on Luke 1:35-55, and I’m going to preach something a little different. I’m going to be preaching about a teenagers’ need for safe space.

I was in a church a couple months ago that had a depiction of Mary. She was white, was wearing a soft blue toga, had her eyes cast down modestly, and was wearing a crown. And I thought to myself… I just can’t get there. I can’t get to that picture of Mary in my mind. Then I was reading in a commentary about how Mary went to Elizabeth’s house because of how happy she was, and I just can’t get there either. We read that Mary went ‘with haste’ to Elizabeth’s home, but it does not mention what her feelings were. When the angel Gabriel had appeared he told Mary that Elizabeth was also miraculously pregnant. I don’t think that was an accident. I think God knew Mary was going to freak out… because God knew Mary was human. After all, pregnancy is a big deal. Unwed teenage pregnancy that results in the birth of the Messiah is a big deal. I think she got scared and ran. She ran to someone she knew she could trust, someone outside of her immediate family. Isn’t that often part of growing up? We run to people we trust outside of our immediate family to find a safe space. I think Mary ran to Elizabeth to find a safe space.

How different would the vulnerable teenagers in our world be if someone created a safe space for them and exclaimed “Blessed are you!” or even the simple “God loves you!” Granted, there’s a difference between Mary the mother of our Savior and, well, everyone else; but I think there’s a pattern here that we can follow. The author is making a claim on how we are living our lives, on what we count as a blessing in our lives, and on the safe spaces we find in our lives. According to Mary and Elizabeth’s society, it is Elizabeth who is blessed, who has finally found a safe space in The Motherhood. She has finally overcome the bareness which has shamed her… and here Mary is entering a condition which will shame her. People will judge Mary, and people do shame Mary as we sometimes shame others. I see Mary as a scared teen girl in this passage, and I see that, perhaps, because I was a scared teen girl. Although I was never pregnant, I experienced shame and ridicule. You expect ridicule once word gets out in your high school that you are the president of the poetry club and that you spent your summer at Shakespeare Camp, but I had one great blessing in my life. I had many Elizabeth’s who offered me safe spaces. The associate pastor of my home church. My friend from youth group. My friend’s mom. These people and others told me that God loved me, that I had spiritual gifts, that my faith was stronger than I knew, and who taught me to trust in the promises that God has made. These people had the Holy Spirit working in their lives, and it is partially because of them that I find myself here at PTS, training to go into ministry. It is because of the Elizabeth’s in my life that I have the freedom to be a Mary! A Mary who has Jesus growing in her, in a spiritual way not in a physical way.

Because of the Holy Spirit working in my life and because of those safe spaces I experienced, I have been able to provide that same safe space for teenagers going through difficult times. I remember especially sitting with my friend Jon in his dorm room. We were freshman in college, and we were playing Street Fighter. Then Jon’s phone rang. It was his mother who told him she was divorcing his father and was going to marry a man she had been seeing for quite some time. She said she would be moving to a different city to escape the shaming looks from her church. Now Jon wasn’t a guy who let his emotions show. He’s a big guy with a quick smile and will always tell you everything is ok especially when it’s not. But that day he hung up the phone and started crying. I sat with him in that space, and for whatever reason he felt safe enough to cry. Providing a safe space for Jon didn’t bring his parents back together. Safe spaces don’t make everything ok. Safe spaces don’t numb the pain of your experiences, and they can’t make others change their mind about your own situation. Safe spaces can, however, create a place to express emotions and a place for support without denying what is going on. Safe spaces can remind you that even in the midst of great pain, distrust, disbelief, shock, confusion, discernment, joy, and questioning God is still there. Can we imagine how Tyler Clementi’s life may have turned out differently if he had an Elizabeth to run to rather than a deserted bridge… a waiting river…

We are people who see God’s blessings in others and who can provide safe places for them to grow and safe spaces for them to run to when life gets overwhelming. But there’s a key part here. The text says that Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. The joy spilled over from her womb, and she could not contain it. The Spirit empowered Elizabeth helped Mary see God’s strength and her own faith; we know that because Mary’s Song is a song of strength and faith. The song does not come right after Gabriel leaves. No. The song comes after Mary finds a safe space with Elizabeth. Mary’s Song is a song of strong trust in God. Mary can see her own blessings, how she can and will pour out those blessings and change the world.

May we be so moved in our own lives that we seek out people like Elizabeth when we need them, and may we be so courageous that we can be like Elizabeth when someone runs to us. May the Holy Spirit work in us to see Jesus growing inside of each other when society may only see shame. May we have an open heart to the Holy Spirit working in our lives, to help us not judge those society may deemed shamed; but instead to have God’s love through the Holy Spirit pouring out of us to strengthen the people who feel they need to run and give them the chance to sing in praise and trust and about the overwhelming-ness of God’s love—the ultimate safe space. By creating safe spaces for teenagers we can nurture Christ growing in them through the power of the Holy Spirit, like Elizabeth did for Mary. And we can create safe spaces just by being there and by being open to the Holy Spirit. Amen.

The New Top Chef

2010-09-16T16:42:00.000-04:00

On August 20th when my CPE unit went out to lunch to celebrate our graduation, we went to Rat's Restaurant and met the executive chef there. Last night the executive chef from Rat's Restaurant won the 7th season of Top Chef.

So in a year at seminary I have met three celebrities. Shane Claiborne, Gustavo Gutierrez, and Kevin the New Top Chef.

It's been a strange ride.

Pre-Semester

2010-09-15T12:40:00.000-04:00

I am back at PTS after a wonderful, restful period at home. Things have not yet started in full gear because my classes don't start until next week, so I'm pre-semester-ing. My internship at Rider has started, and that's going well. I'm doing some fun reading. I'm playing some video games. Watchin' some Gilmore Girls. Doing some paperwork and writing an article for our student published theological journal. (which is due today and hasn't been finished and I don't even know if it will be accepted, but here's hoping!) Planning for the semester.

Classes for fall long term:
Feminist and Womanist Theology
Preaching
Introduction to Christian Worship
Musical Resources for the Congregation

Self-Care

2010-09-01T22:08:00.000-04:00

I don't know if I've approached the topic of self-care before in this blog. I've thought about it enough that I've probably written something about it. The truth is that self-care is one of the most important things for students to learn in seminary, and I have yet to meet one student who claims they are good at self-care. That's saying something. It's become an important topic following the New York Times' article about clergy burnout. If you haven't read it, let me sum up. Clergy aren't good at taking care of themselves and often burnout. 50% of all those ordained as Presbyterian ministers will burn out within 5 years. That's a scary thought.

So how do we prevent ourselves from getting burned out?

More vacation time? Weekly Sabbath time? Different job? 30 minutes a day for prayer/mediation? Attending a church different than your own on Sunday evenings? Coffee break with a novel once daily? All of the above?

Yesterday my mom and I went to the movie "Eat, Pray, Love" based on the best-selling book. There are three main settings of the story. The "Eat" part is in Italy where the author learns about the Sweetness of Doing Nothing, a decidedly Italian idea according to the locals. One character declares that Americans don't know how to have a good time or relax.

Is this failure for self-care simply a clergy phenomenon... or is it part of our society?

In our world of climbing unemployment are we afraid to insist on taking care of ourselves out of fear of losing our jobs or out of the idea that we don't know just how to be? Do we know how to be in the sweetness of doing nothing? No TV, no internet, no gameboy. Just be. It's a difficult idea. I know because I can't do it. I try. It reminds me of a prayer I read once. "Dear God, I am trying my best." Then I think of Yoda who said "Do or do not. There is no try." Mixed messages.

So I'm going to try. Or do. Or something. I'm going to try to find this sweetness in doing nothing in order to prevent burnout because this past year and a half has been hard. Non-stop and hard. So what's the harm in just trying some self-care? Or doing.

CPE Done

2010-08-26T15:14:00.000-04:00

My CPE experience has ended. If it wasn't obvious from my lack of posting it kept me really busy all summer. Now I'm taking some time off to do some R&R because once my fall semester starts it's ahead full blast. I have a full schedule and three jobs lined up. But I'm not thinking about that for the next couple of weeks.

For now I'm just going to hang back and relax as best I can. I suggest you do the same before summer fades into fall.

Hospital Psalm

2010-08-19T07:15:00.002-04:00

Out of the hospital I call to you, Lord.

O Lord, listen to my cry;

Be attentive to me! Answer me!

I look to the Lord,

I await God’s word.

I am more eager for the Lord than the night shift for the morning;

Than the night shift for the morning.

-Based on Psalm 130

Gustavo

2010-07-31T18:26:00.000-04:00

A couple weeks ago I had the incredible honor to meet Gustavo Gutiérrez...

He is one of the greatest theological minds of our time and is known as the father of Liberation Theology. He is a professor at Notre Dame and a Dominican priest. His best known work is A Theology of Liberation. Of course I didn't have my copy on me when I found out he would be at my school. But a group of us did get him to take a picture with us!

July

2010-07-11T11:17:00.000-04:00

Is it July? Yes. Is it mid-July? Yes. Wow.

Tomorrow summer language begins at PTS. Last year at this time I was moving into my dorm and nervously awaiting that #1 anxiety producing course Biblical Greek. Turns out it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be... and it also was as bad as I thought it would be but in different ways. The biggest difference between Greek and CPE is that learning Greek is highly predictable. You have the book. You have the syllabus. You have the professor and teaching assistants. You spend hours writing out paradigms on white boards. But in the hospital every time you enter its doors or turn on your pager you don't know what's going to happen. When the pager goes off anything could be happening. When you enter someone's room you don't know what they're going to say or if they're able to speak.

It's just a very different summer. Last summer I was figuring out how the "seminarian" label fit into me, and now I'm figuring out how the "chaplain" label fits into me while still being a seminarian. Both are growing processes. Not all growth is easy. Some is just confusing. Someone asked me the other day if I was "the E.M." I said yes since those are my initials, but when I entered the room the nurse wanted me to go in the patient said they wanted the Eucharistic Minister. Now that I am not, but I do know how to get the Eucharistic Ministers. An EM was found, the Eucharist was done, and the patient was happy. Is that the right verb? Done? Sorry if it's not.

So the summer is different, and I'm still growing. Both good things.

In church

2010-06-27T16:39:00.000-04:00

Today I attended a church (not the one I normally attend), and I sat behind this woman who was editing the bulletin for grammar as the service went along. Now we all know that church bulletins sometimes have mistakes in them. The people who write the bulletins are often pulling in information from multiple places, and mistakes are made. It's not a big deal. It was disconcerting to be listening to a sermon about freedom from the world and being bonded to each other in Christ and love (bonus points if you figure out what book was being preached from) and to watch this woman edit the bulletin.

The church was very welcoming, and I liked the service. It's nice to go to church after a long week.

12 Hour Shifts

2010-06-26T15:37:00.000-04:00

Four times over the summer as part of the CPE process we have to do 12 hour shifts on site.

12 hours is a long time.

Week One Done

2010-06-13T13:35:00.000-04:00

I was planning on updating before now, but it's been a long week at the hospital. We've gone through hospital orientation (one full day) and then four days or so of pastoral office orientation. Some training in all sorts of things like what HIPPA is and how it applies to us and how to use certain kinds of software along with here's what you can and cannot do as pastoral care givers. For example, we cannot give anyone water just in case they're fasting before a test or surgery. Didn't know that a week ago. What I didn't know a week ago and what I do today could fill a book. Maybe several books.

This weekend I've been working some events on campus. All music stuff. Rehearsals, concerts, and piano recitals. I've also been playing quite a lot of video games and letting my mind go blank. This pastoral care stuff is not as easy as it looks sometimes.

CPE

2010-06-06T15:10:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow I begin CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education), a 12-week hands-on internship at a local hospital.

Preparing for this experience has been difficult. I can count the number of times I have entered a hospital on one hand, but I have some great friends and mentors around here and back home who have been helping me. Of course the full year of seminary under my belt helps. Mayhaps that's easy to say now before I begin. I'll keep you informed.

Pentecost!

2010-05-23T14:20:00.000-04:00

Today is Pentecost which is one of my favorite holidays. On Pentecost we celebrate the coming down of the Holy Spirit upon the disciples (Acts 2). At Plainsboro Presbyterian they have been folding origami cranes for prayer doves for weeks, and they were installed yesterday in the front of the church. They asked people to write prayers in any language they speak or read on the white side of the origami paper. The theme was that the church is a house of prayer for all peoples (Isaiah 56:7). They were beautiful and colorful, and they had several members of the church read prayers and scripture in their first languages.

At Pentecost the Spirit empowered the disciples to overcome the barriers of geography and language to preach the Gospel. And not everyone received the Gospel the way we would normally think. People openly sneered at the disciples and said they were drunk. Some completely dismissed the good news they were hearing, and some heard and believed and were transformed. Their lives were transformed by the power of the Spirit, and the patterns of their behavior changed. That is the beauty of Pentecost. The Spirit working in our lives and in other people's to overcome barriers and to change us inside and outside.
May we be fired up and empowered to preach the Gospel in all we say and do. May we be changed that every thought and action be made into the will of Jesus Christ.

Graduation Choir

2010-05-22T18:44:00.000-04:00

Today I sang at PTS' graduation with our choir. The graduation was in the Princeton University chapel which is enormous and beautiful (with incredible acoustics). It's sad to know that more than a few of my friends are leaving, but it's also great to see how God has been working in their lives to lead them into the next chapter.

I'm looking forward to a restful couple of weeks before I start CPE.

Almost done

2010-05-15T17:26:00.000-04:00

We are in the home stretch, everybody. This is the last weekend. I am studying for my first spoken examination. I've only had those in language courses in high school, and it's a very different type of studying than for an essay exam.

Yesterday some friends and I went to lunch at an Indian restaurant to celebrate our friends who are graduating and a successful completion of the school year. When we came back, my friend Craig said he heard music in the air. So I naturally starting singing that wonderful song that I know from Call Me Madam, but it turns out that there really was music in the air. Some students had decided to throw an impromptu concert in the grassy area in the middle of our campus. (see picture) That was really nice. It has been raining all week, but yesterday was beautiful. It was wonderfully relaxing thing to come back from a fun lunch and sit in the grass listening to music.

Ok. I'm almost done. I'm going to make it!

Books

2010-05-10T21:18:00.000-04:00

Books wait for you until you need them. Buying books is not always about what you need right at that time. It's more of an art than anything else. The past few days I have been working at the PTS annual Book Sale. For months people have been donating books, and the students have been sorting them into topics such as preaching, theology, and Christian life. Many retiring professors and clergy use this book sale to clean their libraries out. All proceeds go to international seminaries to build their libraries. All volunteers got paid in books, so now I have a storage problem for texts such as The Writings of Medieval Women, The Complete Works of Josephus, Scotland: A New History, The Book of Common Prayer, and The History and Character of Calvinism.

In other news, it's the May short term... so I'm very busy with my class about the sacraments. More about that later.

The Farm

2010-05-02T20:17:00.000-04:00

The May Term is pretty intense, so it's important to find ways to relax. Yesterday my friends Sarah and Marie and I went to Terhune Orchards, a local farm with 200 acres. They were having a kite flying festival with cider and animals to pet. Beautiful apples were on sale. One of the best things, though, were their cider donuts.

It's hot out here, and our A/C hasn't been turned on yet. I hope it's cooler where you are.

May Term

2010-04-28T20:32:00.000-04:00

Last week was finals week, and I survived. I did quality work on my papers, and my tests went well. Today we started our May short term, and I'm in a class about the sacraments and sacramental rites. We're studying baptism, communion, marriage, foot washing, confirmation, reconciliation, and healing.

On Monday night I met Shane Claiborne. He spoke at the forum on youth ministry here. He spoke at my undergrad earlier in the school year, and I read his book Irresistible Revolution a couple months ago. He was amazing! He talked about the art of making disciples and about how we can embody love as Christians.

Earth Day

2010-04-22T16:12:00.000-04:00

In honor of Earth Day, I want to recommend an album for everyone. Hope for a Tree Cut Down was made by Church of the Beloved in Washington and contains some of the finest music recorded in the past two years. While not directly about Earth Day, this album is expresses the beauty of God in our world. And it's free! What could be better than that?

The Finer Things: Opera

2010-04-21T14:48:00.000-04:00

Last Friday The Finer Things Club went to the New York City Opera to see Madam Butterfly. It was awesome.

This week is finals week, so my brain's a little fried. So I'm going to go study.

Servant Savior Presbyterian Church

2010-04-12T17:24:00.000-04:00

An arsonist burned down the Servant Savior Presbyterian Church in Houston, TX on April 9th. Here is the news story. They are asking for donations to help rebuild their church here. If you can, please donate. They lost everything including a new piano.
Thank you.

The Caucasian Chalk Circle

2010-04-07T16:52:00.000-04:00

The Caucasian Chalk Circle is being performed this Thursday-Sunday if you're in the Princeton area. We're all really excited about it, and tonight is the dress rehearsal.
In this play, a peasant woman succumbs to the terrible temptation to do good, and an odd judge comes into power.

My part is Shalva, the Secretary. I get to wear a big, navy hat the entire time.

Christ is Risen!

2010-04-04T19:55:00.000-04:00

My friends David and Laura talked me into attending a 5am sunrise service this morning at the university chapel. Nice service. Had to take two naps today.

Plainsboro had a very nice service with readings from the Gospels and the Song of Songs, based off of a Medieval monastic service.

This evening many people in the dorms got together in the oratory for dinner. The body of Christ.

2010-04-02T14:17:00.001-04:00

Maundy Thursday

2010-04-01T17:04:00.000-04:00

Today is Maundy Thursday, and we are nearing the end of Holy Week. Tonight we remember the Last Supper with the Lord's Supper and sometimes the washing of feet (see John 13). I'm not going to get a chance to go to church tonight, but I encourage everyone else to. Even if you're not a Christian. Maundy Thursday services are very special and say a lot about the character of the church universal and the church particular.

While they were eating, he took a loaf of bread, and after blessing it he broke it, gave it to them, and said, ‘Take; this is my body.’ Then he took a cup, and after giving thanks he gave it to them, and all of them drank from it. He said to them, ‘This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many. Truly I tell you, I will never again drink of the fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new in the kingdom of God.’

Mark 14:22-25

2010-03-31T15:08:00.000-04:00

New blog layout. Hope you guys like it. If not, feel free to let me know.

I had allergy testing today. Ick. I am allergic to dust mites, mold, and trees. I will be making some changes in my lifestyle to reflect this new information. New medication. New pillows.

The play is coming up next week. We're actually running the entire play instead of bits and pieces. Even though I have a medium-sized part, my character appears in the beginning scene and last half of the second act, so I have to hang around the entire rehearsal. I also have to wear a hat the entire time, but we haven't begun practicing with our costumes.

I have been asked by my gracious play director and speech professor to be his teacher's assistant for next school year. A great opportunity for me to get to the know the incoming juniors and to spend some time doing something I love.

For my final paper in my Reformation worship class I have decided to write a short adult education course. I thought this would be easier than writing a full-blown history paper. I was wrong. Plus, I have tracked down a facsimile of the original Genevan Psalter, and it never occurred to me that music writing had changed since the 1530's. That throws a cog into the wheels. Thankfully, I've got some time to figure things out.

I am very excited to announce that the Finer Things Club will be journeying to New York City for Madam Butterfly in April. Something to look forward to before finals week.

And the rain stopped again! I don't mind rain, but I mind rain for days and days at a time. It's nice to have a break.

Field Education

2010-03-22T16:20:00.000-04:00

As you may know or not know, each seminarian must complete a year-long part-time internship called a "field education placement." I have officially accepted a placement at Rider University, a local university that's about 6,000 students. I will be working both on the main campus with the Protestant Campus Ministries and at Westminster Choir College. I will be working specifically with Rev. Dawn Adamy, a very lovely woman. (I don't have a picture of her. Sorry.) It's at the same time exciting and scary. I worked for a year as the chaplain's assistant at my undergrad school, but this is just a little different. It's nice to have things set up.

Now all I have to do is get through this semester, the finals week, the spring short term, and CPE.

Peace Rally

2010-03-20T13:16:00.000-04:00

The Peace Rally went well yesterday on the steps of the state capital in Trenton. It was organized by the Coalition for Peace Action in Princeton. My friend and fellow seminarian Hannah spoke about respecting all life and the need for peace.

Then some of us went for pizza.

Past, Present, and Future

2010-03-19T11:02:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I had a weird day. Past, present, and future all converged into one in only a few short hours. Awe, shock, and hope...

Past/Awe--Yesterday I held a Bible that belonged to Dietrich Bonhoeffer (pictured, right). The Bible is a facsimile of the Luther Bible that Bonhoeffer's students gave to him as a gift. If you don't know who Bonhoeffer is, he's one of the most incredible Christians of the past century. He was a theologian and pastor who stood up to the Nazis and was executed in a concentration camp. His writings are amazing. I read The Cost of Discipleship last summer. It's thought-provoking and a great read.
The picture with the small book is me with an original edition of Calvin's Institutes. It used to be really small and in Latin. The text I'm read for my Systematic Theology class is much bigger and in English.
We saw pictures from the Martyr's Mirror showing all the different ways Anabaptists could be killed for their beliefs.

Present/Shock--I attended a lectured last night by Peter Dale Scott, a poet and professor emeritus at Berkley. His new book The Road to Afgahanistan is coming out this fall. There is an overwhelming connection to the international drug trade and the war in Afghanistan. Today is the 7th Anniversary of the Iraq War. I will be joining the Seminarians for Peace and Justice on the steps of the state capital at noon today to ask for peace. I can't sit in silence any longer. The further I get into my New Testament class and Systematic Theology and Reformation history class, the more I cannot reconcile the idea of war with Jesus' teachings, ministry, death, and resurrection.
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God" (Matt 5:6-9).
"Suddenly, one of those with Jesus put his hand on his sword, drew it, and struck the slave of the high priest, cutting off his ear. Then Jesus said to him, ‘Put your sword back into its place; for all who take the sword will perish by the sword" (Matt 26:51-52)
"'But I say to you that listen, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. If anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also'" (Luke 6:27-29a).
"'I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:34-35).

If we do not stop the cycle of violence, we will only be faced with more violence. Someone must have the courage to stand up and refuse to continue the cycle. We must root out the institutionalized violence and refuse to fight back with anything but Jesus' triumph over violence. Jesus shows us a different way, a way to love one another as God loves us. I want to take the Gospel seriously. The Gospel is not safe. Jesus leads away from our homes, our families, and our communities into discipleship. Perhaps no one in the past century has devoted him or herself to the idea of discipleship more than Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Future/Hope--I was offered a field education position yesterday. I do not expect to be faced with the kinds of violence Dietrich Bonhoeffer was, but I will follow Christ as well as I can where I am. I have great hope for the future today, not because of where we are but because of where we can go.

Midterms

2010-03-16T20:28:00.000-04:00

My midterms are basically done. I lead my history precept today, and I somehow got mixed up about what the precept paper entailed. So have to rewrite that. Also have to rewrite my New Testament exegesis paper. Due by Friday.

Things are coming along with my Calvin paper. I've decided to make it into an adult education course because I've written way too many history research papers. Haven't written curriculum before, so this might be interesting.

The storms seem to have stopped. Finally. It rained for four days straight. Today the sun came out. <3

Memorial Service

2010-03-13T16:12:00.000-05:00

Today I was the sexton for a memorial service in remembrance of those who died in the earthquake in Haiti. Now I'm trying to study for my New Testament midterm, and it's difficult.

Recently a prospective student asked me to name the pros and cons of my seminary. This is both a pro and a con, and I think this is true for all seminaries. You become aware of how powerless you are and how dependent you are on God. The question of "why" starts to really eat at you. The paradoxes we live with everyday suddenly seem impassible... yet you're in this community of people who each have their own story about how God had led them through difficulties you never thought about. People are willing to stand up and trust in God. I think this is why PTS is so focused on community living. I couldn't have made it through my first semester without this community.

So if you're looking for a seminary to attend, don't just look at the academics or housing or financial aid. Look at the community. The other day I sat down with at a table of students, and we started talking about a hot button issue of the church today. Instead of defensive team-taking, we had a very honest conversation about the Biblical witness around this issue. No plates were thrown. No yelling happened. We just... talked and were willing to listen and were willing to say "I don't understand" or sometimes "I was wrong." No names were called. No labels were given. That is this community. Now that sounds like we're all constantly getting along and singing The Happy Song together, but we're not. We have a lot of different opinions and beliefs and interpretations, but that all seems secondary to the community. When our opinions, beliefs, and interpretations become primary (which they do sometimes) then we become "us" and "them". But I feel like those labels aren't easy to keep up here, especially when you're worshiping with the person or persons who have become the "them".

But today in the memorial service, there was no "us", no "them". No one tried to paper over the question of "why" even though no one could give an answer. Instead, we lamented and pledged ourselves to the continuing aid of Haiti and the Haitians.

If you find yourself in a place where you can give money to Haitian relief, please donate to the Red Cross. You can choose to give directly to Haitian Relief and Development.

The Finer Things Club

2010-03-10T20:27:00.000-05:00

My friend Alicia and I have started the Finer Things Club. Once a month or so we are going to take mini-vacations and do cool things. Yesterday we journeyed to the historic district of Philadelphia to learn about our Founding People!

We went on a tour of Independence Hall where the Continental Congress met. (SIT DOWN, JOHN!) We saw the Liberty Bell. We saw where the Congress met during the time Philadelphia was the capital of the USA. We also saw where the Senate met. (They had a smaller room up two flights of narrow stairs.) We saw Philosophical Hall, home to the oldest society of learned people in the USA. We paid our respects to the Tomb of the Unknown Revolutionary War Solider. We saw the First Bank of the US. We toured Betsy Ross' house! We paid respects to the late Benjamin Franklin and family in the Christ Church burial ground. Saw the US Mint.
We learned that nothing really happened on 4 July 1776. The Declaration was voted on on 2 July and read to the public 8 July. Also learned that Betsy Ross was a Free Quaker.
Oh, and there was this grave in Christ's Church burial ground that was for Gen. Jacob Morgan. Perhaps a relative of mine? Probably not, but still... maybe.
But one of the BEST parts of the day was lunch! We went to City Tavern (originally a place for our Founding Parents to drink and hang out then demolished and rebuilt in the 1970's as a tourist attraction). The food recipes were supposedly from the 1770's. I have no idea if that's true, but the food was EXCELLENT. I had the crab cakes. Incredible. We also sampled George Washington's Porter, Thomas Jefferson's Ale, Ben Franklin's Spruce, and Hamilton's... something. I didn't like Hamilton's. I like Washington's Porter the best. For dessert we had Martha Washington's mousse chocolate cake. Better than Martha Stewart's!
Time slipped away from us very quickly. We didn't get to see the Declaration House. We trucked home very tired but very happy.

Reading Week

2010-03-08T16:02:00.000-05:00

It's Faux Spring Break! As one of my professors said: "We call it Reading Week so the Calvinists don't feel bad about taking a break." I'm currently working on my systematic theology midterm about the relationship between Scripture and tradition. I only have one exam which is next Monday focusing on the Gospels in my New Testament class. I have to memorize outlines of each of the Gospels. I can remember the basic outlines... it's the chapter numbers that throw me off.
I attended the Princeton University chapel yesterday for worship.They have a stained glass picture of John Witherspoon. He is right under St. Jerome. No, seriously. The chapel is HUGE. It could fit ten Miller Chapels in it. One of my friends is their seminary intern, and he told me the choir was incredible. Well, their choir IS INCREDIBLE. The organist is also incredible. As a postlude he played a Bach fugue like I have never heard a fugue played before.

Tomorrow taking a mini-vacation to a surprise location! Check back on Wednesday for pictures!

Calvin's Theology

2010-03-02T17:23:00.000-05:00

I am doing my final project in my Worship Renewal and the Reformation class on Calvin's theology of music specifically on the Psalms. If anyone knows of good resources, please let me know. I'll be crafting a post later in the semester about what I find!
Thanks!

A Great Read

2010-03-01T15:29:00.000-05:00

I just finished reading The Irresitable Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical by Shane Claiborne. It's an incredible book that I think every Christian from all walks of life could benefit from reading.

But be warned... this book might turn you into a Christian. If you're worried about that don't be afraid to pick it up from your local library. If you do buy it, pass it on to someone who would never think of reading it after you're done.

Best Quote

2010-02-27T13:57:00.000-05:00

I was reading this week for my Worship Renewal in the Reformation class when I stumbled upon one of the best quotes I have ever read from a church reformer.

"In church, we do not wish to extinguish the spirit of the faithful with tedious things" Formula of Mass and Communion for the Church at Wittenberg (1523)

Amen.

Lent, Part 2

2010-02-18T14:35:00.000-05:00

Today I got schooled on the Reformed tradition of the liturgical year. I'm in this awesome class called Worship Renewal in the Late Middle Ages and Reformation taught by Dr. Elsie McKee, and today we talked about the ideas of sacred space and time that changed over the course of the Reformation. I learned that the Reformed Protestant leaders stripped the liturgical calendar from the church because of the doctrine of sola scriptura (also made popular by Martin Luther). For example, the Bible does not have Advent or Lent; but the Bible does include events like Jesus' birth and Pentecost. So we kept Christmas and various other holy days (holidays!), but the Reformed leaders really wanted to focus on the Lord's Day. Calvin even moved Christmas in his community to the closest Sunday to December 25th to honor the Lord's Day. The Reformed leaders wanted to preach straight through the different books of the Bible, and that could not be accomplished within the liturgical year the Medieval Catholic Church had. The Reformed leaders brought in books of the Old Testament for preaching which seems from what we've studied highly unusual during the Late Middle Ages. I was shocked! I'm Reformed, and I love the liturgical year (see my previous post on Lent)! So I asked my professor after class how we had gotten from no liturgical calendar to today where the Presbyterian churches I know follow the temporale (history of salvation events such as Christ's birth but not the saints' days) liturgical calendar. Dr. McKee said that within the past couple of generations various dialogues have taken place that have changed how Christians of various persuasions view the church calendar. Because of a renewed focus on the shared history of Christians before various splits, some Reformed denominations have re-adopted the liturgical calendar. Also, in the past couple of centuries preaching in the Reformed churches has moved from going straight through books to more topical preaching; so the liturgical calendar wasn't going to trip up the preaching.
All this means that during my lifetime the Presbyterian church does have the liturgical calendar, but not all Reformed churches do across time and currently. I apologize if I made any sweeping remarks about the liturgical calendar in the Reformed tradition if it is not true in your tradition. My life has been greatly shaped by the rhythm of the liturgical calendar, and I feel very attached to it... or to the PCUSA version of it, I should say.
Isn't that cool, though?!?! The Reformed leaders felt so strongly about the need for preaching, teaching, and staying true to the Bible that they almost completely changed the rhythm of the year for everyday people.
This is why I'm at Princeton Seminary... because every day I'm challenged and grow in my faith and understanding of living the Christian life!

Veni Sancte Spiritus

2010-02-17T17:21:00.001-05:00

Once during my college years I walked into a Christian bookstore in early February and asked for Lenten Bible studies. The sales associate looked at me almost in shock and asked me to repeat my request. I said I was looking for a Lenten Bible study for the upcoming Lent. The sales associate said he would ask his manager and began to scribble something on a piece of paper, and then looked up at me and very seriously asked "How do you spell 'Lent'?"

I'm only in my first year of seminary, but I'm going to give this a shot because I think Lent is incredibly important.

Lent will be different in different Presbyterian churches. Different pastors and different communities will emphasize different things. Some will ask you to give something up (like meat or soda), some will ask you to add something on (such as a specialized Bible study), some will ask you to spend more time in reflection and silence, and some will leave it completely open to you about what you do. Some churches offer Taize services during Lent. Some offer special prayer groups. Some will offer services of lament and healing. Some will spend more time on the calls to confession, prayers of confession, and assurances of pardon.

Honestly, what you do or don't do during Lent isn't nearly as important as WHY we do Lent. Just as the Israelites spent 40 years in the desert and just as Jesus spent 40 days being tempted in the desert, we spend 40 days each year in Lent. This is a time to look at our discipleship. Really examine it. It's a time to think. It's a time to repent and be forgiven. It's a time to prepare ourselves for the Passion and the Resurrection. We are disciples of Jesus, and we live in a broken world where our sin keeps us from God.

Now, some of us don't like to admit we're sinful. I certainly don't... and then the minister of the Chapel here at PTS goes and challenges with with this: "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:8-9). Oftentimes people associate Lent with punishing ourselves because of our sin. I'm not of that camp. God loved us so much that he decided he would rather die than be separated from us. The Incarnation changed everything. "We are dead to sin. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus" (Romans 6:11). In Lent we choose to be more alive in Christ. We choose to somehow take one step closer to living a life like Christ did by changing something in our lives and taking the time to attend special services dedicated to the life and death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We cannot have Easter (the resurrection) morning without first going through Good Friday (the death).

Furthermore, while Lent is a fixed time period on our liturgical period, we all go through Lents at other times in our lives... times of immense grief or suffering or exile or illness or loneliness. Because we walk together as a faith community during our yearly Lent, I believe we help each other through those times in our lives. We can better sit with people during their grief if we have been through grief before and have seen God on the other side. Today my New Testament professor asked us this question about Jesus' crucifixion: "What is faith? Is is when the lights are on and all's right with the world and God's smiling down on us? Or is is when you're beaten up and hanging on by a thread and praying to a God who you're not sure is there anymore?"

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?"

Psalm 22:1

Jesus turns to the Psalms while on the cross because they give us the words when we are so down and out that we don't even have the words to describe what we're feeling. There have been times in my life where I have wondered if God had forsaken me. I have had Lents, and I have walked through our liturgical Lent several times. I am here at Princeton Seminary today because of the Psalms and because of the community of faith that has surrounded me since the time I was small. They helped guide me to seeing God working in my life in ways I hadn't seen during my Lent. I am very, very blessed this Lent to be walking only through the liturgical Lent. I prayed Psalm 13 so often. Now I pray Psalm 107. Thanks be to God.

That's part of my Lenten story. I urge you this Ash Wednesday to start your own Lenten story. Go out and figure out what Lent means to you and in your community. You might be surprised what you find.

Who says first year seminary students can't preach?

Doylestown Presbyterian Church

2010-02-16T13:43:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I went with the PTS touring choir to Doylestown Presbyterian Church located in beautiful Doylestown, PA. We had the privilege of singing at both their services and meeting with several members of the congregation and staff. All three pastors are PTS grads, and our alumni relations director was their guest preacher. I really like getting out to see more of the East Coast and all the wonderful Presbyterian churches around here. Doylestown Pres has several beautiful stained glass windows, and I'll be showing you the windows in the coming weeks.

Miren Qué Bueno!

2010-02-10T19:35:00.000-05:00

SNOW DAY!

2010-02-09T23:29:00.000-05:00

It has already been announced that tomorrow will be a SNOW DAY! YAY!

Today after choir I called my friend Alicia to come out for snow prayer. It was wonderful. If I could capture the essence of what our snow prayer was, it would make a really great prayer technique, but it was too spontaneous.

¹O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
   for his steadfast love endures for ever.
²Let the redeemed of the Lord say so,
   those he redeemed from trouble
³and gathered in from the lands,
   from the east and from the west,
   from the north and from the south.

⁴Some wandered in desert wastes,
   finding no way to an inhabited town;
⁵hungry and thirsty,
   their soul fainted within them.
⁶Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
   and he delivered them from their distress;
⁷he led them by a straight way,
   until they reached an inhabited town.
⁸Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love,
   for his wonderful works to humankind.
⁹For he satisfies the thirsty,
   and the hungry he fills with good things.

Psalm 107:1-9

Gladwyne Presbyterian Church

2010-02-08T16:57:00.001-05:00

Yesterday morning I worshiped at Gladwyne Presbyterian Church just outside of Philadelphia. I'm currently scouting locations for my church internship next school year, and the worship life is a very important factor.

Content Exam

2010-02-05T10:32:00.000-05:00

Bible Content Exam: PASSED!

Paul didn't go so well, but I ROCKED the Wisdom Literature part!

Spring Long Term 2010

2010-02-02T17:02:00.001-05:00

Second day of the Spring Long Term 2010. Here's the lineup.

Systematic Theology--Surprisingly not as scary as once though
New Testament--Thus far just studying the cultural background against which the New Testament was written
Worship in the Reformation--Looks like someone will be using their historical training after all!!
Speech--We'll be working on poems during part of the semester! I love poetry!
Greek translation--translating verses about resurrection of the dead. Just approached 2 Maccabees 7. Wow. Serious martyrdom and resurrection text. Not for the weak of Greek skills. Luckily for me, we translated it in class together.

Today I discovered what One Note is. Now, I've had One Note on my computer for a couple of years; but I never bothered opening it. I just used Word for my notes. One Note is AWESOME. So much easier to arrange by class, topics, dates, etc.! And then I can search for a certain word, and it gets highlighted in all my notes! Apparently it can also record things and then playback later what you were hearing when you wrote something.

I will also be taking the Bible Content Exam this Friday morning. It is the first ordination exam Inquirers take. It is multiple choice, but that doesn't mean it's easy. To pass I only need 70%, but I've only gotten that on one of my practice exams... and I thought I knew the Bible pretty well! So I'm studying, and I'll keep studying. The good news is there is no penalty to try again (except I would have to pay the fee again). I'd really like to pass on the first try. Standardized tests cause a rise of anxiety in me that I'm trying really hard to curb. If I may ask, prayers, please. Especially for Paul's letters. I've been doing really well on the Gospels and Wisdom Literature portions, so I hope I can get an overall 70%.

Also, I miss Colorado and my family!

One of my hats

2010-01-31T14:33:00.000-05:00

One of the hats I wear here at Princeton Seminary is that of a sexton. Now, some of you might be thinking of Hamlet when a gravedigger refers to himself as a sexton, but let me assure you that's not what I do. A sexton is a person or team in a church or synagogue in charge of the grounds and buildings which can include a graveyard but not necessarily. At PTS the sextons are students who work for the Chapel Office. Sounds official, right? Anytime there's a special event whether by a campus group or an off-campus group a sexton is assigned to make sure everything is in its right place at the right time and then is put back where it belongs. We make sure the lights are on, the doors unlocked, everyone can find the bathrooms, and the pulpit doesn't move. I've only worked concerts and worship services, but the sextons also work with weddings, lectures, and anything anyone else can use Miller Chapel for.

This afternoon I'm the sexton for the Dryden Ensemble and their "Bach Looking Back" concert that begins at 3pm. If you're in the area, the tickets are very affordable, and judging by their sound check it's going to be awesome.

The Return

2010-01-30T17:59:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I traveled back to Princeton. It took longer than I thought it would, but I did get here. I left my parents' house at 6:15am, and my flight to Dallas was uneventful. Then I got to Dallas and found out my plane to Newark was canceled. So I went to Haagan-Daas. (Why not?) Took up a conversation with a nice lady from the Jersey Shore, and it ended up that we were sitting next to each other on the flight to Newark we got rebooked on. I listened to the new Norah Jones on the flight. Got on the train to Princeton and found out I was on the wrong train. Got off the wrong train and had to wait in the freezing cold for the right train. Got to Princeton Junction and went into the little waiting room for the dinky, and my friend Noah was there coming back from his trip to Washington D.C. I grabbed a sandwich from the Wa-Wa for dinner.

Today I went out to lunch with my friends Sara and Sarang (above). I talked on the phone for a couple of hours with a friend from my undergraduate days. I'm getting geared up for my next semester which begins on Monday. :)

Emily's Takeover

2010-01-29T21:54:00.000-05:00

I took over my Mom's blog this week! Check it out!
http://moretimeatthetable.blogspot.com/

The Sky is a Hazy Shade of Winter

2010-01-27T18:41:00.005-05:00

I flew home last Saturday for some R&R. My fall semester is officially over! My spring semester has not really begun. I have always found it weird that the 'spring' semester begins in the dead of winter. Of course by the time you end it's summer, so I guess spring is in the middle. I found it really interesting to go through an entire three course class in three weeks. Three hours a day. Three weeks. Three credits. Not to mention homework time. The people who found it the hardest were those in languages. I understand that. I did that over the summer. I enjoyed learning Nonviolent Communication. It gave me a great tool for pastoral care and for the Clinical Pastoral Education I'm doing over the summer which both scares me and excites me.

But this week I'm doing my best not to think about any of that. This week I'm hanging out with my family and Colorado friends. And on that note, allow me to introduce the newest member of my family to you: TUCKER! He's our 4th golden retriever, so I guess my family has found a breed that fits us. His older counterpart Gabby doesn't know whether to play with Tucker or to ignore him. He likes to chew on my socks which wouldn't be a big deal except my feet are usually still in them! More later. :)

Proof that God is Awesome

2010-01-21T20:48:00.004-05:00

For all my Dora the Explorer loving friends, I met the Map today. His real name is Marc Weiner. (He also voices Swiper the Fox!) In his spare time, Marc has developed a tool for learning Nonviolent Communication known as the Empathy Labyrinth which he brought to Princeton Seminary today. Not only was the labyrinth extremely helpful, Marc is a great guy. I do watch Dora on occasion, but only because I have a nephew, so I was very happy when he told us about his acting experiences.

You meet all kinds of people here at Princeton Seminary.

Saturday Jan 16

2010-01-17T13:16:00.003-05:00

Yesterday started out like any normal Saturday. I woke up and ate breakfast. Then I tried to plan my day, and I looked at the movie listings. There was a listing for Carmen live from the Met at 1pm. So I figured why would I go see the opera at the movies when I could easily go to the opera house? I hopped on the train and went to the Met. I was so incredibly excited, and they were sold out. I was incredibly disappointed. I wandered around Central Park and hung out with my cousins in Brooklyn. It was a very spontaneous day.

Short Term

2010-01-12T14:00:00.004-05:00

The Fall Short Term [or "J-Term"] is upon us! A full 3 credit class in three weeks! For me, it's very draining to sit in the same class for three hours a day; so it's been interesting. We're almost halfway through. Wow. I didn't realize that until I typed it.
My communication class counts for a Pastoral Care credit and is in the Practical Theology department. This is the first Practical Theology credit I have taken, and I like it. I don't know how I'll fair in the Theology department in which I will be taking Systematic Theology next term [required of all students].

I'm looking for something to get me off campus once or twice a week if anyone has any ideas. I'm trying to get more in touch with the city of Princeton and not just Princeton Seminary.

A Proud Daughter!

2010-01-10T15:48:00.003-05:00

My mom made the front page of a well-known blog called Drop in and Decorate for a cookie decorating party she threw!

I'm so proud of my mom! She hasn't been blogging that long, but her blog is really good! And now she's beginning to get recognized by the food blogging community! Awesome!

12th Day of Christmas

2010-01-06T12:43:00.005-05:00

Today is the last day of Christmas. Yesterday my friend Sara Jane and I were out running some errands and getting coffee when we saw the picture to the right. The Christmas lights are still up in Princeton. It was nice to remember that Christmas-tide is continuing even though we all are getting back to our normal lives.

PTS started its January term on Monday. For three weeks students will eat, sleep, and breathe one class. I am taking a course entitled Compassionate Communication based on the Nonviolence Communication model complied by Marshall Rosenberg. We have practice groups, journals, lectures, class participation, etc. in order for us to internalize nonviolent communication into our daily lives. I took this class originally with an eye on my chaplaincy internship this summer, but I can see how this type of communication can help in my career field and just in normal every-day relationships.

Also, yesterday I gave myself an end of Christmas present. I upgraded my computer to Windows 7, and it seems to work wonderfully. I really like the new Windows layout, and I appreciate the deal Windows gave me since I'm a student.

Merry end-of-Christmas-tide!