Psalm 22

I am poured out like water,
   and all my bones are out of joint;
my heart is like wax;
   it is melted within my breast;
my mouth is dried up like a potsherd,
   and my tongue sticks to my jaws;
   you lay me in the dust of death.
--Psalm 22:14-15

When people talk about Psalm 22 they don't normally get this far. We like to stop with the first verse ("My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?) because we meditate on that verse during Lent and Good Friday. So it may sound odd that I'm bringing out this Psalm during Eastertide. I think the writer of Psalm 22 went to seminary, or the ancient equivalent. If the writer did not experience higher education, then s/he experienced the same emotions from another experience. The two verses above are what many of my classmates are feeling right now. The 'dust of death' may be a bit over dramatic, but what's seminary without a little drama? After the school year spent reading, writing essays, taking exams, and discussion some of us may be glad for a time when our tongue to stick to our jaw. We've spent the year pouring out ourselves into our studies and internships while balancing other commitments. In some ways, we're very dry. I see the exhaustion in my classmates' face. Many are moving to a new place on campus, many are beginning summer jobs in the next couple of weeks, many are relocating for a post-seminary job, and a few have decided to leave seminary early for various reasons.

I don't really have a point today. I just wanted to acknowledge what my friends and classmates are going through. I'm sure our professors have some similar feelings. This is the time to ask again for the gift of living water that we may never be thirsty again.

Psalm 100 Sermon

I promised my mom that I would post my sermon on Psalm 100 on the blog, but I have to be honest... I can't. During my sermon last Monday I realized I wasn't connecting with the students at all. So I stepped to the side of the lectern and began telling a story. Almost everyone sat up a bit, and connections were made. So while I can't exactly post the stories and sermon-ing I told, I can give you an idea of what I said.

Psalms are awesome, and God loves us.

There you go. :)

Hospital Psalm

Out of the hospital I call to you, Lord.

O Lord, listen to my cry;

Be attentive to me! Answer me!

I look to the Lord,

I await God’s word.

I am more eager for the Lord than the night shift for the morning;

Than the night shift for the morning.

-Based on Psalm 130

New blog layout. Hope you guys like it. If not, feel free to let me know.

I had allergy testing today. Ick. I am allergic to dust mites, mold, and trees. I will be making some changes in my lifestyle to reflect this new information. New medication. New pillows.

The play is coming up next week. We're actually running the entire play instead of bits and pieces. Even though I have a medium-sized part, my character appears in the beginning scene and last half of the second act, so I have to hang around the entire rehearsal. I also have to wear a hat the entire time, but we haven't begun practicing with our costumes.

I have been asked by my gracious play director and speech professor to be his teacher's assistant for next school year. A great opportunity for  me to get to the know the incoming juniors and to spend some time doing something I love.

For my final paper in my Reformation worship class I have decided to write a short adult education course. I thought this would be easier than writing a full-blown history paper. I was wrong. Plus, I have tracked down a facsimile of the original Genevan Psalter, and it never occurred to me that music writing had changed since the 1530's. That throws a cog into the wheels. Thankfully, I've got some time to figure things out.

I am very excited to announce that the Finer Things Club will be journeying to New York City for Madam Butterfly in April. Something to look forward to before finals week.

And the rain stopped again! I don't mind rain, but I mind rain for days and days at a time. It's nice to have a break.

Veni Sancte Spiritus

 Once during my college years I walked into a Christian bookstore in early February and asked for Lenten Bible studies. The sales associate looked at me almost in shock and asked me to repeat my request. I said I was looking for a Lenten Bible study for the upcoming Lent. The sales associate said he would ask his manager and began to scribble something on a piece of paper, and then looked up at me and very seriously asked "How do you spell 'Lent'?"

I'm only in my first year of seminary, but I'm going to give this a shot because I think Lent is incredibly important.

Lent will be different in different Presbyterian churches. Different pastors and different communities will emphasize different things. Some will ask you to give something up (like meat or soda), some will ask you to add something on (such as a specialized Bible study), some will ask you to spend more time in reflection and silence, and some will leave it completely open to you about what you do. Some churches offer Taize services during Lent. Some offer special prayer groups. Some will offer services of lament and healing. Some will spend more time on the calls to confession, prayers of confession, and assurances of pardon.

Honestly, what you do or don't do during Lent isn't nearly as important as WHY we do Lent. Just as the Israelites spent 40 years in the desert and just as Jesus spent 40 days being tempted in the desert, we spend 40 days each year in Lent. This is a time to look at our discipleship. Really examine it. It's a time to think. It's a time to repent and be forgiven. It's a time to prepare ourselves for the Passion and the Resurrection. We are disciples of Jesus, and we live in a broken world where our sin keeps us from God.

Now, some of us don't like to admit we're sinful. I certainly don't... and then the minister of the Chapel here at PTS goes and challenges with with this: "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:8-9). Oftentimes people associate Lent with punishing ourselves because of our sin. I'm not of that camp. God loved us so much that he decided he would rather die than be separated from us. The Incarnation changed everything. "We are dead to sin. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus" (Romans 6:11). In Lent we choose to be more alive in Christ. We choose to somehow take one step closer to living a life like Christ did by changing something in our lives and taking the time to attend special services dedicated to the life and death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We cannot have Easter (the resurrection) morning without first going through Good Friday (the death).

Furthermore, while Lent is a fixed time period on our liturgical period, we all go through Lents at other times in our lives... times of immense grief or suffering or exile or illness or loneliness. Because we walk together as a faith community during our yearly Lent, I believe we help each other through those times in our lives. We can better sit with people during their grief if we have been through grief before and have seen God on the other side. Today my New Testament professor asked us this question about Jesus' crucifixion: "What is faith? Is is when the lights are on and all's right with the world and God's smiling down on us? Or is is when you're beaten up and hanging on by a thread and praying to a God who you're not sure is there anymore?"

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
       Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?"

Psalm 22:1

Jesus turns to the Psalms while on the cross because they give us the words when we are so down and out that we don't even have the words to describe what we're feeling. There have been times in my life where I have wondered if God had forsaken me. I have had Lents, and I have walked through our liturgical Lent several times. I am here at Princeton Seminary today because of the Psalms and because of the community of faith that has surrounded me since the time I was small. They helped guide me to seeing God working in my life in ways I hadn't seen during my Lent. I am very, very blessed this Lent to be walking only through the liturgical Lent. I prayed Psalm 13 so often. Now I pray Psalm 107. Thanks be to God.

That's part of my Lenten story. I urge you this Ash Wednesday to start your own Lenten story. Go out and figure out what Lent means to you and in your community. You might be surprised what you find.

Who says first year seminary students can't preach?

SNOW DAY!

It has already been announced that tomorrow will be a SNOW DAY! YAY!

Today after choir I called my friend Alicia to come out for snow prayer. It was wonderful. If I could capture the essence of what our snow prayer was, it would make a really great prayer technique, but it was too spontaneous.

 

¹O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
   for his steadfast love endures for ever.
²Let the redeemed of the Lord say so,
   those he redeemed from trouble
³and gathered in from the lands,
   from the east and from the west,
   from the north and from the south.<sup>*

4</sup>Some wandered in desert wastes,
   finding no way to an inhabited town;
⁵hungry and thirsty,
   their soul fainted within them.
⁶Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
   and he delivered them from their distress;
⁷he led them by a straight way,
   until they reached an inhabited town.
⁸Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love,
   for his wonderful works to humankind.
⁹For he satisfies the thirsty,
   and the hungry he fills with good things.  

Psalm 107:1-9

Hope

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer." Rom 12:12

I have many things rattling around in my brain today. I have having trouble extracting the ideas of one class from another and from what's going on in my personal life. My understanding of certain ideas is not limited to one aspect of my life. I may be studying the Psalms in my Old Testament class, but I am seeing Advent in the Psalms. Advent is the season of hope, and all the Psalms whether they are cursing Psalms, lamenting Psalms, or praising Psalms end with hope. As one of my text books says, "For people who pray are people living in hope" [Ellen Davis--Getting Involved With God]. The Psalms are prayers and songs to God and about God from individuals and communities.
I am currently doing an Advent study on Advent hymns. At the same time, I am assisting a local church in their Advent children's pageant. My job is to help children from ages three or so through middle school learn Christmas songs. The songs they are learning are pretty traditional and include Once in David's Royal City, He is Born, Nino Lindo, and Away in a Manger. Just because I know these songs doesn't mean that these wonderful children do. What is old to me is new to them. I see great hope in the children for Advent to be over and for Christmas to come. Christmas means time off from school, special food, Christmas cookies, family time, etc. We are excited for Christmas to come, and we are expressing that through song.
So you can see the different threads running through my life today. My brain is buzzing with all these ideas, and I don't have them in a neat package yet. All I know is that today I have great hope from many different places. I have hope through children. I have hope through prayer. I have hope through song. I have hope through Psalms. I have hope through my community. I have hope through my friends even though I know many of them are struggling for different reasons. At this point in time I feel like I can only express my gratitude for the hope that is growing in my soul and to pass on what I am feeling.

Giving Thanks

Something in today's Lectionary reading caught my eye.

Psalm 108
[1] My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast;
I will sing and make melody. Awake, my soul!
[2] Awake, O harp and lyre!
I will awake the dawn.
[3] I will give thanks to you, O LORD, among the peoples,
and I will sing praises to you among the nations.
[4] For your steadfast love is higher than the heavens,
and your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.

So many times in Scripture we read about giving thanks with music. As the daughter of musicians I find myself engrossed in a world that constantly reminds me of music. One simple word can trigger any number of melodies and lyrics. Oftentimes I don't even realize I'm singing to myself as I go about on daily business. A long time ago when I was on a mission trip with my middle and high school youth group, I was given an award for singing too much. Those in the group thought it would be funny, but I was very hurt. I wasn't singing to annoy them. I wasn't singing because I had nothing better to do. I was singing because I was happy. ["I sing because I'm happy. I sing because I'm free, for His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me."] Psalm 150 tells us to give thanks with all sorts of instruments, Psalm 96 and others says to "sing a new song".
King David gave thanks by singing and dancing. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." It's one of the harder activities we are called to do. How can we give thanks when our hearts are broken for ourselves or others?
I'm not sure we can.
Sometimes our hearts are not steadfast, they are broken.

I can only offer one idea, and it's not even my own: "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit" [Psalm 34:18]. Psalm 34 does not tell us how the Lord is near to the brokenhearted, only that God is. If our hearts are broken, it is God's love that must fill us so hopefully once again we can raise our voices in thanksgiving.

" For your steadfast love is higher than the heavens,
and your faithfulness reaches to the clouds."