Courage, Part 2

I have been challenged by a friend to think about courage in a different way. While this friend didn't give me a lot of direction, I thought about the different aspects of courage. I thought about the people I talked about in my last post on courage. I did my undergrad in history, and so a lot of times I focus on actions that make change because that's often what makes the history books. But when we're talking about everyday actions that can help or facilitate change there was one that stuck out to me.

Listening.

It's not a surprise that I'm drawn to listening as courage. I practice Non-Violent Communication which focuses on active listening skills. But I want to tell you about an event that happened this last semester which I think shows how listening is courageous.

One class I took this semester was team taught by an African-American female and a Caucasian-American male. During one Q and A session a student asked about how the male professor learns about other ways of interpreting the Bible. The professor said "I listen." He went on to talk about how he was aware of the cultural and societal advantages he has just based on his outward appearance. He said that he can't change many the -isms of our society (racism, sexism, hetero-sexism especially) overnight and he works towards the equality God made us with through listening. He said he gets to talk a lot, and that it is his responsibility to stop talking and actually listen to others. I was struck by his honesty and self-awareness. He made me think about the patterns in our society and how I contribute whether consciously or unconsciously.

It takes courage to listen when one is privileged to talk, and it takes courage to talk when one is demeaned into silence or expected to be silent. If everyone is speaking, no one will be heard. If everyone is listening, nothing will be heard. It seems like people are often pushed into action when no one is listening to their voice.  Think about it. Why did the colonies revolt against England? Taxation with representation, among other things, which translates to the government (those in power) wasn't listening to the people (those expected to be silent). But not all the silenced voices were heard in the 13 colonies, either. There are millions of voices who came from Africa and crossed in the Middle Passage that will never be heard. There are millions of voices of indigenous peoples that will never be heard. So even though the colonies rebelled and gained their freedom many in power continued to talk without listening. But when a balance is struck between listening and talking, I believe amazing things can happen without violence.

This doesn't resolve my complicated thinking about courage. Expect part 3.

Rooted Spirituality: Emerging Adults in the Church

As part of my spiritual guidance course we are interviewing people from three different age groups: emerging adult/young adult, middle adult, and older adult. Last week I interviewed a 20-year-old college sophomore about her life and spirituality. She called her spirituality "Grassroots Spirituality." Her understanding of God came from her experiences at a Christian summer camp and have grown in relation to the physical world around her as well as to her intellectual and emotional growth. This idea really struck me. Rooted spirituality. Those who have the luxury to be emerging adults (ages 18-24ish) are thought to be drifting without roots. They move frequently and explore their identity and career course. But all the reading we've been doing makes me think we've got it wrong, and this interview confirmed it. Stop thinking all young adults want in a spiritual community is a rock show. There's enough in our world that is shallow. We want a deep community with roots. True, some of us also want a rock show; but that's not the only thing. Our roots need to be nurtured as we continue growing toward the Sun. We can't do that alone.

So many members of churches have asked me "How do we get more people your age into the church?" Welcome us. Nurture us. Go out and find us. Realize that not everyone has transportation. Stop thinking that changing something in the liturgy means you're giving up your religious tradition. Read the Bible as a community and be willing to hear voices you don't agree with or voices you've ignored/didn't know about. Be authentic. Be open to listening to our questions without feeling you have to know the answer to everything. Put us in leadership roles. Mentor us. We're not asking you to be perfect. Don't expect us to be like you were at this age. Accept us for who we are and know we're going to transform if you nurture us. Without sun and water plants die. Offer us Living Water and the Light from God to nurture us and prevent spiritual death. Take the time to explain tradition. Offer introductory classes or even informal conversational groups to discuss what it means to call ourselves a Christian and what it means to call ourselves a certain denomination. Don't exclude the single. Don't exclude our LGBTTQI friends/family/partners/selves. Know we may not fit into traditional membership categories and be open to our involvement anyway. Empathize. Don't assume. Recognize us. Know no church is your church or my church; it is God's church. Sing a new song, sing old songs, just choose songs that have theological content. Celebrate worship with many languages. The sacraments are cool; we'd like to talk about them because they're also confusing to a lot of people. Help us find silence and stillness in a world that demands noise because we want to hear God. Don't preach at us. Preach the Word in the midst of us. Feed us. Point out God's actions in the world so we learn to pay attention to God. Enter dialogue with other religions and other traditions from Christianity. Find a way to support those of us who are single parents. Help us get involved in the local community mission/soup kitchen/garden/after school tutoring program/food drive/whatever. We want to make a difference. Show and tell us how Christ made a difference. Don't expect us to believe everything exactly the way you do or to sign up for something we don't want to do. Love us in spite of ourselves and yourselves. We like our agency and intellect and believe both come from God. Even if we are only in your community for a short time know that our roots have been entwined and the journey will never be the same. Be joyful in our transitions through break ups, new jobs, marriages, illness, grappling with grief, changing majors, graduation, and making difficult decisions even when they're hard for us. You are the love of Christ to us during the hard times. Engage us in the hard issues the church is dealing with. We worship God in wholistic ways in our everyday lives and would be thrilled to see Sunday morning come into the week. Guide us into taking ownership of our own faith even knowing at the same time it is the faith of our ancestors. Talk about the Cloud of Witnesses. We don't get many Christian role models in pop culture. We don't want our faith to be fueled by fear, so please don't try to make us do things you think we "should" do by threatening us with hellfire. That's not your decision to make. If we disagree politically or theologically remember we are each children of God and deserve to be treated with respect. Don't talk down to us just because we're young. Know there are some things we can only learn from experience but don't be condescending about it. Take us seriously and with flexibility. Plant some seeds of wisdom. Pray for peace and act on those prayers. Be thoughtful.

Preach the Good News of God's love.

Practice what you preach.

Live the Good News for the world today and into the future with us.

Nurture our roots.

Soul Friendships

During this May term we are looking at soul friendships as part of our overview of spiritual guidance. Our main book for this has been Sacred Companions by David Benner. The second half of the book is about spiritual direction, but the first half is all about spiritual friendships also known as soul friendships. (His use of the term "soul" is not referring to the Hellenistic dualism between body and spirit but instead is using "soul" referring to our deepest and most whole selves which include the physical, mental, spiritual, etc.) 

We have many friends, but how many of those are soul friends? How many friends do we have who we are fully present with and able to be vulnerable without fear of judgement? Soul friends accompany each other's journeys. In a world where "Friends" is a sitcom soul friendship sounds odd. It's an intriguing, ancient idea of friendship. Jonathon and David. Ruth and Naomi. Paul and Timothy. Ross and Chandler? The thing that sets soul friendships apart is the focus on God and the intentionality behind soul friendships. The soul friend pulls you toward God as you pull them toward God. Some people wander into soul friendships, but for the most part it appears to me that people need to discern soul friendships. It's difficult enough to be authentic in a world that values shallowness, but to allow someone else in your life to be authentically themselves is also difficult. Soul friendships also value deep listening also called holy listening. It's part of being fully present with someone. Not trying to think about what you're going to say next, not thinking about your to do list, listening intently to the other is prayerful listening. I've spent a lot of time talking to God, and I've spent most of my time in seminary learning to listen for God. It's an active listening, but it's still prayerful/holy/deep listening. Soul friendships help tune your ears to listen for God and your eyes to look for God in your everyday lives. God pops up in some weird places. Like our friendships, we need to cultivate our relationship with God through holy/prayerful/deep listening.

Who in your life always points you back towards God?

Soul friends. If you don't have one, discern one.