Soul Friendships

During this May term we are looking at soul friendships as part of our overview of spiritual guidance. Our main book for this has been Sacred Companions by David Benner. The second half of the book is about spiritual direction, but the first half is all about spiritual friendships also known as soul friendships. (His use of the term "soul" is not referring to the Hellenistic dualism between body and spirit but instead is using "soul" referring to our deepest and most whole selves which include the physical, mental, spiritual, etc.) 

We have many friends, but how many of those are soul friends? How many friends do we have who we are fully present with and able to be vulnerable without fear of judgement? Soul friends accompany each other's journeys. In a world where "Friends" is a sitcom soul friendship sounds odd. It's an intriguing, ancient idea of friendship. Jonathon and David. Ruth and Naomi. Paul and Timothy. Ross and Chandler? The thing that sets soul friendships apart is the focus on God and the intentionality behind soul friendships. The soul friend pulls you toward God as you pull them toward God. Some people wander into soul friendships, but for the most part it appears to me that people need to discern soul friendships. It's difficult enough to be authentic in a world that values shallowness, but to allow someone else in your life to be authentically themselves is also difficult. Soul friendships also value deep listening also called holy listening. It's part of being fully present with someone. Not trying to think about what you're going to say next, not thinking about your to do list, listening intently to the other is prayerful listening. I've spent a lot of time talking to God, and I've spent most of my time in seminary learning to listen for God. It's an active listening, but it's still prayerful/holy/deep listening. Soul friendships help tune your ears to listen for God and your eyes to look for God in your everyday lives. God pops up in some weird places. Like our friendships, we need to cultivate our relationship with God through holy/prayerful/deep listening.

Who in your life always points you back towards God?

Soul friends. If you don't have one, discern one.